Parenting Perspective 

Children often view discipline as a form of punishment, which can lead to resistance and resentment. Parents can help to shift this perspective by explaining discipline as a tool to shape character and prepare them for life. When discipline is framed as a form of training rather than a means of control, it helps to build a child’s respect and self-awareness instead of their fear. 

Explain the Purpose Clearly 

Tell your child in simple and direct terms what the purpose of discipline is. You could say, ‘My job is not to hurt you, but to help you grow into a strong and wise person.’ Making your intention clear from the outset helps to remove the idea that consequences are about anger or a desire to exert power. 

Link Discipline to Real-Life Benefits 

Show your child how the discipline you are teaching them helps in their daily life. For example: ‘When you learn to tidy up your own things, it teaches you how to be responsible. When you learn to keep your word, it helps other people to trust you.’ Children can understand the value of rules much better when they see their practical and positive benefits. 

Connect Effort to Growth 

Remind your child that building a good character is a slow and steady process. You could say, ‘Each time you practise being patient or honest, you are making your heart stronger.’ This encourages them to keep persisting, even when they find it difficult. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of emphasis on discipline as a path towards developing good character (akhlaq), which is central to a believer’s faith. The rules and guidance of our religion are intended to refine the self, not merely to control our outward behaviour. 

The Path to Success Through Self-Purification 

The Quran teaches that true and lasting success, both in this life and the next, is achieved by those who actively work to purify their own souls through self-discipline. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 9–10: 

‘ Without any doubt success is for the one who developed purity (of the self), and indeed, failure is for the one who embraces (the darkness of ignorance and immorality). ‘ 

Good Character as the Perfection of Faith 

The prophetic tradition makes it clear that the goal of all our discipline and self-correction is to achieve the best character, as this is what perfects a person’s faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete believer in faith is the one with the best character.’ 

By calmly explaining discipline as a form of character-building, you are reflecting these core Islamic values of self-purification and growth. Your child learns that every correction is a step toward becoming a stronger person, both in their behaviour and in their faith.