How to Handle It If Your Child is Rude to a Teacher 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is rude to a teacher and then refuses to apologise, it is an issue of both behaviour and character. This is an important moment, because how you handle it will teach your child whether respect and humility are negotiable or essential values. The goal is not to force them to utter empty words, but to guide them towards understanding why an apology matters and how it protects important relationships. 

Address the Behaviour Privately but Firmly 

Your first step should be to speak to your child away from others, especially the teacher. Explain calmly but firmly, “Speaking rudely to your teacher is not acceptable in our family. Teachers deserve our respect because they are here to help you learn.” This approach frames respect as a core principle, not just a personal preference. 

Explore the Root of Their Resistance 

Gently ask your child why they do not want to apologise. Sometimes, a child’s refusal to say sorry hides other feelings, such as embarrassment, fear, or a genuine belief that the teacher was being unfair. Listening to their perspective first shows that you take their feelings seriously, which in turn makes them more open to your correction. 

Teach That Respect is a Sign of Character 

Help your child to see that offering an apology is not about ‘losing’ or admitting defeat, but is instead a demonstration of a strong character. You could say, “Saying you are sorry does not make you a weak person. It shows that you are strong enough to value other people and to respect knowledge.” Linking the apology to a sense of dignity helps to reframe it as an act of maturity. 

Provide an Alternative Path to Repair 

If your child still resists a verbal apology, you can suggest a softer first step. This might be writing a short note of apology, making an effort to greet the teacher respectfully the next day, or showing extra politeness in class. Sometimes, a positive action can soften a person’s heart more effectively than words can. 

By guiding your child with a firm yet patient approach, you can show them that respect is non-negotiable, while still offering them a dignified path towards reconciliation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of importance on showing respect to teachers and elders. This is because knowledge is considered a sacred trust, and those who dedicate themselves to teaching it deserve our honour and gratitude. A refusal to apologise in such cases is not only a social issue but is also a spiritual reminder of the importance of humility and good character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verses 11: 

‘…(And in return) Allah (Almighty) shall elevate those who are believers amongst you, and those people who are given the knowledge (of existential reality) in various stages…’ 

This verse reminds us that those who teach and spread knowledge hold a special and elevated status in the sight of Allah. Respecting them is part of honouring the blessing of the knowledge they carry. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also commanded us to show respect to our scholars. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4943, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our little ones and respect our elders and recognize the rights of our scholars.’ 

This teaches us that showing respect for our teachers and scholars is an essential part of our faith and a component of good Islamic manners (adab). By connecting the principle of respecting teachers with these core Islamic teachings, you can show your child that apologising is not just about pleasing an authority figure. It is about embodying the Islamic values of humility, sincerity, and honour. Over time, this helps them to see that offering a sincere apology is part of being a believer with a good character, which strengthens both their relationships and their faith.