Parenting Perspective 

While it is natural for parents to guide their children through the process of apologising, the long-term goal is for siblings to learn how to do so on their own. This important shift happens through consistent modelling and the cultivation of empathy, so that saying ‘sorry’ becomes a natural response from the heart, not just a parental instruction. 

Model Sincere Apologies Yourself 

When you apologise openly and sincerely for your own mistakes, your children see this as a normal and safe part of family life. For example, “I am sorry that I interrupted you; please finish what you were saying.” Children naturally absorb this habit from your example and are more likely to practise it independently. 

Build Empathy Through Reflection 

Instead of always being the one to tell your children to apologise, you can encourage them to come to that conclusion themselves by asking reflective questions. For instance, “How do you think your sister felt when that happened?” Over time, this practice of considering another’s feelings will prompt them to apologise on their own initiative. 

Praise Independent Apologies 

When one of your children apologises without your prompt, make sure to acknowledge and praise their effort. You could say, “I really liked how you said you were sorry without me needing to remind you. That shows a lot of maturity.” This kind of positive reinforcement helps the new habit to stick. 

Create a Family Culture of Repair 

You can make reconciliation a core part of your family’s values. Let your children know that, “In this home, when someone is hurt, we always try to fix it.” Over time, children will internalise this culture and begin to practise apologising without waiting for your intervention. 

By gradually shifting your role from prompting them to encouraging their own reflection and independence, you can help your children develop the maturity to apologise sincerely on their own initiative. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, taking personal responsibility for one’s actions is a fundamental part of having a good character. A sincere apology should come from a person’s own heart, not from being forced by another. Nurturing this habit in children aligns perfectly with the core Islamic values of sincerity, empathy, and accountability. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 36: 

‘And do not pursue (to meddle in matters) with which you have no knowledge; indeed, your hearing (everything you heard), your sight (everything you observed), your conscience (everything you thought), in fact, all of these (your faculties) shall be called for questioning (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This verse reminds us that every individual is ultimately accountable for their own actions. Children should be taught that this personal responsibility includes making amends when they have hurt others. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that the best people are those who strive to have the best character. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6029, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.’ 

This teaches us that developing sincere, self-motivated habits of kindness and humility is a sign of true and beautiful faith. When siblings begin to apologise to one another without parental prompting, they are living out the Islamic values of humility and accountability. It shows that they are not only obeying their parents but are also learning to act with sincerity and good character, which in turn helps to build trust, love, and harmony within the home.