Parenting Perspective 

It is common for siblings to say ‘sorry’ but still hold on to feelings of resentment. While an apology opens the door to reconciliation, children often need extra guidance to truly let go of grudges and restore warmth to their relationship. Helping them learn how to move on strengthens both their sibling bond and their emotional resilience. 

Acknowledge the Hurt Before Moving On 

Teach your children that letting go of a grudge does not mean they have to pretend the initial hurt never happened. You could say, “It is okay to still feel a little hurt, but when we choose to forgive, we are choosing not to keep that hurt feeling alive inside us.” This approach validates their feelings while gently showing them the benefit of emotional release. 

Encourage Acts of Reconnection 

Guide your children to follow up their apologies with small, positive gestures of kindness. This could be sharing a toy, inviting their sibling to play a game together, or helping them with a small task. These simple actions help to rebuild trust and begin to replace the negative memory of the conflict with a positive one. 

Teach the Language of Forgiveness 

It can be helpful to give children the specific words they need to express closure and move forward. Encourage them to say things like, “I forgive you,” or “It is okay, let us start again.” For younger children, a non-verbal gesture such as a hug, a high-five, or a handshake can serve as a powerful symbolic reset for their relationship. 

Model the Act of Letting Go 

When you and your child have a disagreement and you later apologise, make sure you also model the act of moving on. You could say, “I was upset with you earlier, but I have forgiven you and let it go, and now my heart feels much better.” Children learn from this example that forgiveness restores peace and is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

By combining explicit words, kind actions, and your own positive modelling, you can teach siblings that an apology is only truly complete when it is followed by forgiveness and a genuine effort to reconnect. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, holding on to grudges is seen as a practice that damages the heart, while the act of forgiving brings a person mercy and closeness to Allah Almighty. Helping children to practise forgiveness after an apology is a way of shaping them into compassionate adults who value peace over pride. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty)…’ 

This verse reminds us that choosing to forgive and make peace is a greater act than seeking equal retaliation, and it is an act that is rewarded directly by Allah Almighty Himself. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that forgiveness elevates a person. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not in any way decrease wealth and Allah does not add to the servant who forgives but honor, and none humbles himself for Allah but Allah raises him in status.’ 

This teaches us that forgiving another person is not a loss of dignity but is in fact a source of increased honor in the sight of Allah. When siblings learn that moving past their grudges earns them the mercy of Allah and increases their honor, they begin to see forgiveness as a true act of strength. This perspective allows them to rebuild their love for one another more quickly after disagreements, helping to create a home that is filled with peace and blessings (barakah).