Parenting Perspective 

When a parent apologises but then repeats the same mistake, a child may naturally begin to feel uncertain or lose faith in the sincerity of the apology. While this can be a painful experience, trust is not lost forever. Rebuilding it requires a commitment to consistency, honesty, and showing your child through your actions that you are genuinely working on making a change. 

Acknowledge the Pattern with Honesty 

It is important to be upfront with your child about the repeated mistake. You could say, “I know I have said sorry for this before, and I made the same mistake again. I can understand if that makes it harder for you to trust my words.” This act of humility shows great respect for your child and validates their feelings of disappointment. 

Share Your Plan for Meaningful Change 

Children need to see that your apology is backed by a concrete plan, not just more words. For example, you might explain your strategy: “From now on, when I start to feel like shouting, my plan is to pause and take a drink of water before I speak.” Sharing your strategy makes your commitment to change more believable and tangible. 

Highlight Progress in Small Steps 

Even small improvements are significant and worth noting. If you found yourself raising your voice but managed to calm down much quicker than before, you can point this out later. You could say, “I still made a mistake today, but I managed to stop myself sooner than last time. I am still learning.” This helps your child to see the process of growth, even if the journey is not perfect. 

Focus on Consistency and Care Over Time 

After apologising, the main focus must be on your behaviour. Over time, continue to offer apologies when necessary, but let your consistent actions speak the loudest. Trust is not repaired by promises, but by steady effort and visible, positive change. By demonstrating accountability and combining your words with clear, actionable steps, you teach your child that rebuilding trust is a process that takes time but is always possible. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, repeating a mistake does not close the door to forgiveness or improvement. What truly matters is the sincerity, humility, and unwavering determination to keep trying. Allah Almighty loves those who turn back to Him again and again, and children can be taught that this same beautiful principle of persistent effort applies within family life. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 222: 

‘“…Indeed, Allah (Almighty) loves those who repent excessively and those who adore their personal purification”.’ 

This verse reminds us that Allah’s love is for those who are constantly turning back to Him. This implies that even repeated mistakes can be forgiven when they are followed by a sincere and persistent effort to improve. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself was a model of continuous repentance. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6307, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘By Allah, I seek forgiveness from Allah and repent to Him more than seventy times a day.’ 

This teaches us that repentance and apology are not one-time events but ongoing processes. Persistence in seeking forgiveness is a sign of strong faith, not a sign of failure. By explaining that even parents are constantly learning and trying to improve, children see that repeating a mistake does not make a person hopeless. They learn that what truly matters is sincerity, humility, and a genuine effort to repair the harm done. This helps them to grow with patience and compassion, and to understand that trust, much like faith, is rebuilt through consistency.