Is It Wrong to Apologise to a Toddler Who May Not Understand? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is not wrong at all. In fact, apologising to toddlers is a vital practice that lays an important foundation for their future understanding of empathy, respect, and emotional safety. Even if they cannot fully grasp the meaning of the word ‘sorry’, they absorb the gentle tone, caring body language, and the habit of making amends. Over time, these early experiences shape their understanding of an apology as an integral part of love and fairness. 

Toddlers Learn Through Imitation 

Very young children may not understand the dictionary definition of every word, but they are expert observers. When you kneel down to their level and say, “I am sorry that I bumped into you. Are you alright?” they learn that care and kindness should always follow a mistake. This process of imitation is often far more powerful than verbal explanations. 

Building a Foundation of Trust 

Apologising shows your toddler that their feelings are important and valid, even at a very young age. When you say sorry with sincerity, you are communicating to them that they are respected and valued as a member of the family. This is a crucial part of building their sense of trust and emotional security. 

Preparing Them for Future Understanding 

Even if a toddler does not grasp the full meaning of an apology today, your repeated exposure to the concept prepares them for tomorrow. As they grow and their language skills develop, those early, gentle apologies form the basis for their deeper understanding that mistakes should always be acknowledged and repaired. By apologising to toddlers, you are not wasting your words. You are planting the precious seeds of empathy and humility that will grow and blossom as they mature. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that the principles of humility and fairness are not dependent on age. Treating children with the utmost respect, which includes offering a sincere apology when we are at fault, aligns perfectly with the values of mercy and justice that are so beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child”.’ 

This verse, while about parents, reminds us that mercy and humility are central to family relationships. Showing these qualities to our children mirrors the mercy we hope to receive from Allah and sets a powerful example for them to follow. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also modelled this mercy in his own interactions with children. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 893, that the Prophet ﷺ kissed his grandson Al-Hasan ibn Ali, upon which a man remarked, “I have ten children and have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet ﷺ replied: 

‘He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

This teaches us that kindness and mercy, even in small and seemingly simple gestures, are an essential component of a believer’s faith. When parents apologise to their toddlers, they are modelling these crucial Islamic values. Even if the child does not yet understand the words, the spirit of humility and care shapes their heart. This teaches them that love and responsibility go hand in hand, and that in Islam, even the smallest and most vulnerable members of the family deserve to be treated with sincerity.