Parenting Perspective 

Many children learn to use the word ‘sorry’ as a quick escape rather than as a heartfelt expression of remorse. Although this shows they have learned the social script, it does not necessarily reflect genuine understanding or empathy. Helping your child slow down and offer a meaningful apology requires teaching them to connect the words with an awareness of their actions and the feelings of others. 

Pause and Prompt for Reflection 

Instead of immediately accepting a rushed apology, gently pause the interaction to encourage a moment of reflection. You can ask calmly, “Just a moment. Can you tell me what you are saying sorry for?” This simple question prompts them to stop and connect the apology to the specific behaviour, which is the first step towards genuine understanding. 

Encourage Mindful Body Language and Tone 

Guide your child to use a calm, caring tone and to make eye contact with the person they are apologising to. You can explain, “When we say sorry, it is important to look at the person so they can see and feel that we truly mean it.” These small non-verbal cues transform the apology from a throwaway line into a personal and sincere gesture. 

Incorporate a Practical Step for Repair 

Encourage your child to follow their words with a tangible action that helps to repair the harm done. This could be returning a toy, giving a comforting hug, or helping to clean up a mess they made. This additional step shifts the focus from just moving on to the more important goal of making things better. 

Model Sincerity in Your Own Apologies 

Show your child what a sincere apology looks like through your own actions. When you make a mistake, model the behaviour you want to see. For example, you might say, “I am sorry that I interrupted you just now. That was not respectful. I will listen carefully now.” By modelling sincerity yourself, your child learns that an apology is not a rushed formality but a genuine effort to restore respect. When apologies are consistently guided by reflection, a sincere tone, and restorative action, your child learns that saying ‘sorry’ is not about speed but about the sincere intention to heal a relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, sincerity (ikhlas) is the cornerstone of all good deeds. Just as repentance offered to Allah Almighty must be accompanied by awareness and sincere intention, apologies made to other people should be far more than empty words. Teaching children this principle from a young age helps them internalise the Islamic values of humility and truthfulness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verses 8: 

‘O you people, who are believers, seek repentance from your Sustainer with sincere contrition…’ 

This verse reminds us that sincerity is the key to acceptance and forgiveness, whether we are turning back to Allah in repentance or seeking to mend our relationships with people. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised that truthfulness is a path to all other virtues. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.’ 

This teaches us that sincerity in our words, including in our apologies, is a foundational characteristic that leads to goodness in all aspects of life. By linking the importance of a sincere apology to the importance of sincerity in faith, children learn that their words ought to come from the heart. Teaching them to slow down and show genuine care is not about enforcing formality; it is about embodying the principles of truth and humility. This practice nurtures honesty and empathy, shaping them into compassionate believers who value genuine connection over quick fixes.