Parenting Perspective 

To a child, an apology can often feel like an empty or forced phrase if they do not grasp the true meaning behind it. As parents, our role is to help them understand that an apology is not just about saying ‘sorry’. It is about recognising when they have hurt someone and taking sincere steps to repair that hurt. This process builds essential life skills like empathy, accountability, and stronger family bonds. 

Connect the Apology to Emotions 

Children understand concepts best when we link actions to feelings. Instead of demanding an immediate, “Say sorry right now,” guide them with an empathetic prompt. You could say, “Look at your brother’s face. He feels sad because his toy was taken. What can we do to help him feel better?” When children see that their words can bring comfort and relief, they begin to realise that a genuine apology carries real weight. 

Explain in Simple, Relatable Terms 

Young minds grasp abstract ideas more easily through clear imagery. You could use an analogy like, “When something breaks, we might use glue to fix it. When someone’s feelings are hurt, we can help fix them with a sincere apology.” By using concrete examples, you make the abstract concept of mending feelings more tangible and understandable for them. 

Show That Words Must Be Backed by Action 

Teach your children that an apology is only truly sincere if it is followed by a change in behaviour. You can explain, “If we say sorry but then do the exact same thing again, our words start to lose their meaning. A real apology means we also try our best not to repeat the mistake.” This helps children view an apology as an act of responsibility, not just a quick escape from consequences. 

Model Sincere Apologies Yourself 

Children are powerful observers and will copy what they see in their parents. If you make a mistake, such as raising your voice or forgetting an important promise, take a moment to pause and offer a genuine apology. Saying, “I am sorry, I should not have spoken like that. I will try to do better,” shows them that apologising is not a sign of weakness, but one of maturity and respect. 

Frame Apologies as a Way to Strengthen Relationships 

Explain to your child that when we apologise, we are actively protecting our friendships and the love within our family. You might say, “If we never try to fix our mistakes, our relationships can become weaker over time. Saying sorry helps make them strong again.” This approach frames the act of apologising as a powerful tool for connection, not humiliation. When you consistently teach and model these principles, your child learns that a sincere apology matters because it has the power to heal hearts, restore trust, and cultivate lasting kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a strong emphasis on humility, reconciliation, and the sacred duty of repairing relationships. Teaching your child the value of an apology is not simply about instilling good manners; it is about training their soul to live by the values that Allah Almighty loves. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse reminds us that maintaining unity is a divine command. Seeking to repair bonds, even through the simple act of an apology, is a significant step towards receiving the mercy of Allah. The life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also provides a clear example of the virtue of taking the initiative to make peace. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, 399, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘t is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away when they meet. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting of peace.’ 

This teaches us that taking the first step towards reconciliation is considered a mark of strength in Islam, and the one who does so earns a greater reward. When children learn that apologising is not about admitting weakness but is instead about living their faith, they begin to value it far more deeply. You can explain, “When we say sorry, we are not only helping our friend or sibling feel better, we are also doing something that Allah loves.” This spiritual framing elevates the apology from a social courtesy to a meaningful act of worship, fostering both moral and emotional growth.