What should I do when my child ignores praise and acts up? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be frustrating when a child seems to brush off praise, only to act up shortly afterwards. This behaviour is not always a rejection of your encouragement; often, the child may be craving more of your attention or testing whether their positive behaviour truly matters. The key is to keep your praise steady while also addressing the misbehaviour calmly, showing that both encouragement and boundaries are consistent. 

Keep Praise Genuine and Specific 

Instead of offering general praise like, ‘Good job,’ try to focus on the specific effort you noticed and valued: ‘I really liked how you put your books away without being asked.’ Specific praise feels more genuine, is harder for a child to dismiss, and clearly communicates the exact behaviour you would like to see repeated. 

Do Not Withdraw Praise When They Slip 

If your child misbehaves soon after you have praised them, avoid the temptation to say something like, ‘I just praised you, and now look at what you are doing.’ This can turn your encouragement into a tool for guilt. Instead, correct the new behaviour calmly and separately, while still allowing the value of their earlier good choice to stand. 

Pair Praise With Connection 

Sometimes, children act up because they want more of your attention, and they know that misbehaviour is a guaranteed way to get it. When you offer praise, try to pair it with short moments of positive connection, such as making eye contact, offering a warm smile, or giving a brief hug. This helps them to associate their good behaviour with the warmth of your relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that while the recognition of good deeds should be steady, accountability for misdeeds must also be clear. Children, like all people, require both encouragement and correction in order to develop a strong moral character. 

Accountability for Good and Bad Deeds 

The Quran reminds us that all actions, whether good or bad, are noticed by Allah and carry weight. This principle teaches parents that both positive and negative behaviours must be addressed with fairness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

The Importance of Learning from Mistakes 

The prophetic tradition teaches that while making a mistake is human, a sign of a believer is their ability to learn from that mistake and not repeat it. Parents help to build this awareness by balancing their praise with gentle but clear corrections. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2998, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is not stung twice from the same hole.’ 

By calmly addressing misbehaviour while still affirming the value of good actions, you are reflecting the divine balance of justice and mercy. Your child learns that every deed matters, and that your love and guidance are constant, even when they make mistakes.