Parenting Perspective 

Children often do not realise that their posture and the way they sit can communicate a great deal about their level of respect for those around them. Actions like slouching, sprawling, or pointing their feet towards elders can seem impolite, even if no disrespect is intended. Teaching them to sit properly is less about enforcing strict formality and more about helping them understand that their posture is a sign of attentiveness and good manners. 

Explain Why It Matters 

Talk to your child in simple terms about what their body language communicates. You could say, ‘When we sit up properly, it shows the person speaking that we are listening carefully and that we respect them.’ Connecting good posture to the idea of caring for an elder’s feelings helps them see it as a meaningful act, not just an arbitrary rule. 

Model and Practise at Home 

Sit with your child and demonstrate respectful posture: sitting with a straight back, placing feet on the ground or tucking them away from others, and resting hands calmly. You can role-play scenarios, such as sitting in a gathering with grandparents. Gentle, private corrections like, ‘Please sit up straight; remember Grandpa is here,’ are far more effective than scolding them in front of others. 

Praise Respectful Posture 

When you notice your child making an effort to sit respectfully, acknowledge it with quiet praise. A simple comment such as, ‘I noticed how nicely you were sitting while listening to Auntie today,’ encourages them to make it a natural habit, rather than something they only do when reminded. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense value on adab (good manners), especially in the presence of elders. We are taught that respect is not only conveyed through our words but also through our physical presence and posture. 

The Etiquette of Conduct in Gatherings 

The Quran teaches that our physical conduct in a gathering, including how we make space for others and comport ourselves, is directly tied to our respect for the community and is rewarded by Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verses 11: 

‘ O you who are believers, when it is said to you: “Make space for each other in the gatherings”, then try to accommodate each other; (and conversely) Allah (Almighty) shall accommodate you (with His mercy); and when it is said to you: “Arise (to do good)”, then enable yourselves (to do that good); (and in return) Allah (Almighty) shall elevate those who are believers amongst you, and those people who are given the knowledge (of existential reality) in various stages…’ 

Respect for Elders as a Sign of Belonging 

The prophetic tradition establishes respect for elders as a defining characteristic of a believer who is truly part of the Muslim community. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not of us who does not have mercy on our young and does not respect our elders.’ 

By teaching your child to sit properly in the presence of elders, you are connecting their everyday behaviour with the profound Islamic value of adab. They will learn that respect is expressed not just in what they say, but in how they carry themselves before those who are older and more experienced.