Parenting Perspective 

Children often have a wonderfully direct way of speaking, but their unfiltered honesty can sometimes come across as harsh. When they express a different opinion, it can sound blunt or dismissive. Our role is not to silence their voice, but to teach them the art of disagreeing agreeably, showing them how to wrap their honest thoughts in the gentle packaging of kindness and respect. 

Teach Them About Tone of Voice 

Help your child become aware of how their voice sounds. You can playfully demonstrate by saying the same sentence like ‘I do not want to eat that’ in a demanding tone and then in a polite tone. Ask them, ‘Which one sounds kinder?’ This simple exercise builds their auditory awareness. 

Equip Them with Respectful Phrases 

Give them a script of polite phrases to use when they disagree. Practising these makes them easier to recall in the moment: 

• ‘May I share a different idea?’ 

• ‘I understand, but I see it another way.’ 

• ‘I have another thought about that.’ 

Praise Their Respectful Efforts 

When you notice them trying to express a different opinion politely, even if it is not perfect, acknowledge it. Saying, ‘Thank you for sharing your thoughts so respectfully, even though we disagree,’ reinforces that their polite effort is seen and valued. 

Model Respectful Disagreement 

Children learn most by watching you. When you disagree with your spouse or a friend, let your child see you do it with calmness and respect. Your consistent example is the most powerful lesson in how to hold a different opinion without causing hurt. 

This approach teaches them that having a different opinion is a sign of individuality, and expressing it with kindness is a sign of maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the manner of our speech is given as much importance as its content. The faith teaches us that even a message of truth should be delivered with gentleness and good character, especially when opinions differ. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 44: 

‘“But speak to him (Pharaoh) in a polite manner, so that he may realise, or be in awe (of what you are relating to him)”.’ 

This profound command was given to Prophets Musa and Harun (AS) as they were sent to the tyrant Pharaoh. It teaches us an incredible lesson: if even the worst of oppressors should be addressed with gentle speech, how much more so our own family and friends? 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2003, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Nothing is placed in the scale of deeds heavier than good character.’ 

This hadith places good character as the single most weighty item on the scales on the Day of Judgement. It shows that the way we interact with others our tone, our patience, our kindness is of the utmost importance in our faith. 

By guiding your child to voice different opinions with gentleness, you instil in them that respect is not lost in disagreement. Instead, it beautifies their words, strengthens their relationships, and reflects the noble character Islam calls them to embody.