Parenting Perspective 

Our children are constantly learning from us, especially how we handle conflict. The phrases we choose during a disagreement become the scripts they adopt for their own lives. By consciously using and modelling language that is both honest and respectful, we teach them that it is possible to hold a different opinion without being disagreeable. 

Gentle Phrases for Disagreement 

Having a toolkit of respectful phrases can make a significant difference. Here are some examples to model in your own conversations: 

• ‘I see your point, but I think about it differently.’ 

• ‘I respect your opinion. Here is another way to look at it.’ 

• ‘That is a valid point. May I share my perspective?’ 

• ‘I understand what you are saying, even though I have a different view.’ 

• ‘We do not have to agree on this, but I am glad we can talk about it respectfully.’ 

Model These Phrases Consistently 

The key to making these phrases stick is for your child to hear you use them regularly with your spouse, with friends, and with them. Your consistent example shows them that this is the normal, expected way to handle differing opinions in your family. 

Encourage Practice and Praise Efforts 

Create opportunities for them to practise these skills in low-stakes discussions. When you hear them attempt to disagree politely, even if it is a little clumsy, praise them for it: ‘Thank you for sharing your opinion so respectfully.’ 

This approach helps them build a habit of respectful dialogue that will serve them in all their relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam champions dialogue that is rooted in wisdom and humility. It teaches that even when we must disagree or debate, the dignity of the other person must be preserved. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 46: 

‘And do not debate with the People of the Book, except in an equitable manner; except for those amongst them who are imbued in the darkness (of ignorance and immorality); and say to them: “We believe in that which has been revealed upon us (Quran) and revealed upon you (Torah, Psalms and Injeel); and our Lord and your Lord is One and Only; and it is for Him (Allah Almighty) that we have become Muslims”.‘ 

This verse provides a divine code of conduct for debate, even with those of other faiths. It teaches us to use the ‘best’ manner, focusing on common ground and respect, a beautiful model for all disagreements. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 47, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else keep silent.’ 

This foundational principle of speech is the ultimate guide for any disagreement. It teaches that our words must be good and constructive. If we cannot disagree respectfully, then dignified silence is the better and more pious choice. 

By modelling respectful disagreement with thoughtful phrases, you connect everyday communication to Islamic adab (manners). Your child learns that disagreement is not a battle to win, but an opportunity to share perspectives with kindness and integrity.