Parenting Perspective 

It is perfectly natural for a child to feel restless during long visits with elderly relatives, where the pace is slower and the conversation is often aimed at adults. While their boredom is understandable, it does not excuse rudeness. Our role is to equip them with the tools to manage their restlessness respectfully, turning a potentially awkward situation into a lesson on empathy and good manners (adab). 

Teach Them How to Express Their Needs Respectfully 

Coach them on polite phrases they can use to ask for a break. Instead of a blunt ‘I am bored,’ they can learn to say, ‘May I please go and read my book for a little while?’ This teaches them to state their needs without being dismissive of others. 

Prepare Quiet and Respectful Activities 

Set your child up for success by packing a small bag of quiet activities, such as a sketchbook, a book, or a simple puzzle. Frame this as a tool for showing respect: ‘When the adults are talking, this is your special activity to help you wait patiently.’ 

Explain the Value of Their Presence 

Help them understand that their visit is a gift, even if they are just sitting quietly. You can say, ‘Just by being here, you are showing Grandma that you love her. Your patient company is a kindness.’ Praise them warmly afterwards for their good conduct. 

Build a Foundation of Empathy 

These strategies do more than just manage boredom. They teach a deep lesson in empathy, helping your child to consider the feelings of their elders. They learn that managing their own restlessness is a powerful act of love and respect. 

This approach helps your child develop the maturity to honour their family elders, strengthening intergenerational bonds. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam elevates the status of the elderly, teaching that showing them respect and kindness is a fundamental part of a believer’s character and a direct reflection of their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child”.’ 

This beautiful verse uses the metaphor of a bird sheltering its young to describe the tenderness and humility we should show our elders. Patiently sitting with them, even when bored, is a direct expression of this ‘wing of humility’. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 357, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is part of glorifying Allah to show respect to a grey-haired Muslim, to one who is learned, and to a just ruler.’ 

This profound hadith links the honour we show to the elderly directly to the glorification of Allah Himself. It elevates a simple act of social respect into a profound act of worship. 

By showing your child how to handle boredom respectfully, you are connecting their small moments of patience with greater Islamic values. They will learn that even in quiet or uneventful visits, their behaviour can be a form of worship and a means of earning Allah’s pleasure.