Parenting Perspective 

Children learn the value of listening by first feeling heard. If we consistently demand their attention without offering our own in return, they learn that respect is a one-way street. The key to fostering genuine listening skills is to create a balanced family dynamic where attention is both given freely and requested respectfully. 

Give Your Undivided Attention First 

Carve out small pockets of time each day where you give your child your complete focus. Put your phone down, turn away from your screen, and truly listen to them. This fills their ‘attention tank’ and makes them far more willing to give you their focus when you need it. 

Ask for Their Attention Respectfully 

When it is your turn to speak, ask for their attention clearly and calmly. A simple, ‘I need your listening ears for a moment, please,’ is an invitation, not a demand. Because you have already given them your attention, this request feels fair and reciprocal. 

Frame Listening as a Two-Way Exchange 

Explicitly talk about respect as a mutual act. You can say, ‘Just like I love to listen to your stories, I need you to listen to mine. That is how we show each other we care.’ This connects listening directly to the health and strength of your family bond. 

Establish a Rhythm of Respect 

When you both give and receive attention respectfully, it creates a natural rhythm in your communication. Your child learns that listening is not a chore but a shared value. This builds a foundation of trust and makes them more receptive when you have something important to say. 

This balanced approach strengthens your connection and teaches your child the invaluable life lesson that all good relationships are built on mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that all relationships should be built on a foundation of mutual kindness and respect. The act of listening attentively is a beautiful expression of this principle, showing that we value and honour the person speaking. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘…And do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames; how bad is it to be called by nefarious names after the attainment of faith…’ 

This verse, which forbids insulting language and offensive nicknames, establishes a baseline of verbal respect. Giving someone our full attention is the positive expression of this rule; it is an act that honours their dignity. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1924, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The merciful are shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will be merciful to you.’ 

This profound hadith teaches a universal principle of reciprocity. When we show mercy and care to others which includes the simple act of listening to them we ourselves become worthy of receiving mercy from Allah. 

By balancing the attention you give with the attention you ask for, you align family life with the Prophetic model of mutual respect. This not only strengthens communication at home but also nurtures a child’s spiritual and emotional maturity.