Parenting Perspective 

Children often need help to understand that being truthful is different from being blunt or careless. They might believe that ‘telling it like it is’ is the purest form of honesty, but without kindness, it can cause hurt. Your role is to guide them to see that honesty and consideration are partners, working together to build trust and respect. 

Teach Gentle Truthfulness 

Explain that the truth should always be wrapped in gentle words. For instance, instead of a blunt ‘This food is horrible,’ they can learn to say, ‘Thank you for making this for me; it is just not my favourite.’ This approach maintains honesty while softening the delivery and showing respect for the other person’s efforts. 

Model Honesty with Grace 

Your actions are your child’s most powerful teacher. Let them see how you handle social situations with integrity. When declining an invitation, a simple, ‘I will not be able to join you this time, but thank you for the kind offer,’ is a perfect example. When children observe you speaking the truth with grace, they will naturally adopt the same manner. 

Use Role-Play to Practise 

Set aside time for simple practice scenarios at home. You could ask, ‘Imagine your friend shows you a drawing that is not very good. What is a kind and honest thing you could say?’ Guide them towards constructive and encouraging responses, perhaps by finding one aspect they genuinely like and focusing on that. 

Acknowledge Both Virtues 

When you see your child successfully balance these two qualities, praise them for it. Saying, ‘I was so impressed with how you told the truth and were so kind at the same time. That shows real maturity,’ reinforces the idea that truth and kindness are equally valued. 

By nurturing these habits, you teach your child that being truthful should never be an excuse to be hurtful; instead, it is about protecting trust while honouring the feelings of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam instructs that while truth is non-negotiable, it must be delivered in the best possible manner. Believers are encouraged to uphold honesty with words that build bridges and unite people, rather than cause division. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

This verse is a direct command to choose the best words, reminding us that our speech can either foster unity or be exploited by Satan to create discord. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1970, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those done consistently, even if they are small.’ 

This teaching, when applied to our speech, shows that the consistent practice of speaking truthfully and kindly, even in small, everyday interactions, is a deed that is deeply beloved by Allah Almighty. 

By helping your child practise honesty with consideration, you give them both integrity and emotional intelligence. Over time, they will learn that truthful words delivered with kindness strengthen relationships, protect trust, and bring them closer to Allah Almighty.