What should I do when my child gets angry about a new baby? 

When a New Sibling Brings Anger, Not Joy 

When a child expresses anger over the arrival of a new sibling, it is often rooted in feelings of displacement, loss of attention, or fear of being replaced. These emotions can be particularly strong in younger children who are still forming their sense of security and identity within the family. Even older children may struggle with the sudden shift in dynamics, leading to outbursts, withdrawal, or regressive behaviours. Their anger is not simply defiance but a signal of emotional imbalance caused by perceived instability. 

Parenting Perspective 

Strategies for Connection and Reassurance 

To support your child, maintain routines that reinforce familiarity and offer one-on-one time to help them feel seen. Acknowledge their feelings without judgement: ‘You miss how things used to be, and that is understandable.’ Use simple visual tools like family calendars or memory boxes to help them process change and feel included. Invite them to participate in small caring tasks for the baby, while reassuring them that your love is not divided, but shared. Set clear but gentle boundaries when their behaviour becomes hurtful, and guide them to express feelings through drawing, talking, or physical movement. Over time, predictability and connection will support their emotional regulation and build the foundation for a secure sibling relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Divine Nature of Family 

Allah Almighty reminds us in Surah Al Shuraa (42) Verse 49: 

‘For Allah (Almighty) is the sovereignty of the layers of trans-universal existence and the Earth; He has created what He desires; He grants to whom He desires female (offspring), and He grants to whom He desires male (offspring). ‘

This verse affirms the sacred nature of familial ties and the importance of nurturing harmony within them. A new sibling is not merely a change in the household; it is an opportunity to deepen the child’s understanding of Rahmah (mercy), responsibility, and shared blessings. Emotional transitions are part of growth, and Islam teaches that relationships require cultivation through care and patience. 

The Spiritual Value of Mercy 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921 that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, respect our elders… ‘

This Hadith highlights the spiritual value of both showing and teaching mercy. If your child struggles to welcome the new baby, remind them that love is not limited but multiplied. A short Dua to recite together could be: ‘Allahumma aj‘alna min al-muttaḥabīn fīka’ (O Allah, make us among those who love one another for Your sake). By integrating spiritual values with daily actions, you help your child not only accept but eventually cherish their role in this new phase of family life.