How can I teach that real apologies involve making things right, not just saying sorry? 

Parenting Perspective 

An Apology is More Than Just a Word 

Children often believe that saying ‘sorry’ is the end of an issue, but a true apology requires action. You can teach this by explaining that an apology means helping to fix the hurt that was caused. Use a simple example: ‘Saying sorry for spilling the puzzle is a good start, but helping to put it back together is what shows you truly mean it.’ This guides your child to ask themselves, ‘What can I do to make this better?’ 

Model and Reinforce Restorative Actions 

The best way to teach this is to model it in your own behaviour. If you make a mistake, let your child see you fix it. When your child makes an effort to make amends, praise them for it: ‘It was very thoughtful of you to try to make things right. That shows real maturity.’ This teaches them that a sincere apology, backed by action, is what strengthens a relationship. 

Responsibility is About Restoring Trust 

By reinforcing this principle consistently, you teach your child that responsibility is not about avoiding guilt, but about restoring trust and showing care for others. This turns mistakes into lessons in responsibility and kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

True Repentance Means Not Persisting in Wrong 

Islam teaches that true repentance (tawbah) has multiple components. It is not enough to feel regret; a person must also cease the wrongdoing and have a firm intention not to repeat it. This principle shows that sincerity is proven through changed behaviour. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 135: 

‘And when those people who have committed immoral actions, or wronged themselves; (they should) remember Allah (Almighty), and then ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive their sins except Allah (Almighty), and do not intentionally continue to persist on what (wrong) you have done.‘ 

The One Who Repents is Like One Without Sin 

This beautiful hadith highlights the immense mercy of Allah. It teaches that a sincere and complete repentance, which includes correcting one’s actions, can wipe the slate clean, as if the sin had never occurred. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 4250, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.’ 

Healing Comes from Words and Actions 

When you connect the act of apologising to these Islamic principles, your child learns that real healing only comes when words are matched by sincere actions. This helps them to grow into thoughtful individuals who value responsibility, reconciliation, and sincerity.