How can I stay calm when my child presses my buttons? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child intentionally seeks a response, it usually shows they are seeking attention or exploring boundaries. This behaviour often occurs during development, especially in younger children who are discovering cause and effect. What are the potential consequences if I raise my voice? 

Your thoughtful response acts as a valuable example of emotional support. First, notice your body’s signals, like tense muscles and a rapid heartbeat. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and collect yourself. I would like to express that the tone being used is causing me some distress. Let us try again using a different approach. 

This method assists your child in realising that becoming excessively emotional does not ensure they will get attention. By consistently establishing clear boundaries, you help them develop self-control and respect, which can gradually reduce their efforts to provoke and manipulate. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran, Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘…They suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent. ‘

This profound verse invites us to model forgiveness and emotional poise. Exercising restraint reflects Taqwa, mindfulness of Allah’s presence. 

It is reported in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2493, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught: 

‘Whoever suppresses his rage, while he is able to exact it, Allah will call him before the heads of creation [on the Day of Judgement] … ‘

This Hadith encourages teaching children that true strength lies in patience. When you feel triggered, quietly recite: Allahumma ihdini lis-sidqi wal ikhlasi (O Allah, guide me to truthfulness and sincerity). In doing so, your emotional composure becomes a lesson in divine character and calm parenting.