Parenting Perspective 

Explain Fairness as Equity, Not Equality 

Children have a natural desire for fairness, but if they expect the world to always be fair, they will face constant frustration. The goal is to teach them to uphold fairness themselves, while understanding that life is not always balanced. You can start by explaining that fairness means everyone gets what they need, not that everyone gets the exact same thing. A simple example, like one sibling needing new shoes while the other does not, helps them to grasp this concept. 

Prepare Them for Real-Life Nuances 

Talk to your child about the reality that some situations will not feel fair, but that this should not stop them from being fair themselves. Encourage them to practise justice at home and with their friends, while also being patient when others are not. Praise them when they demonstrate fairness, saying, ‘I was so proud of how you made sure everyone got a turn.’ This helps them to value the principle of fairness without expecting perfection from the world. 

Balance Ideals with Resilience 

This approach teaches children that while we always strive to be fair, resilience and patience are just as important when facing life’s inevitable inequalities. This prepares them to live with dignity and strength in an imperfect world. 

Spiritual Insight 

Standing Firm for Justice 

Islam commands believers to be just in all their affairs, but also prepares them for a world that is not always just. A parent’s role is to teach their child to practise fairness as an act of faith, while trusting that perfect and ultimate justice belongs to Allah alone. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 8: 

‘You who are believers, become steadfast (in your devotion) to Allah (Almighty), corroborating all of that which is just; and never let your hatred of any nation prevent you from being just, – let justice prevail…’ 

Justice is Beloved to Allah 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the quality of justice is one of the most beloved to Allah. This is a powerful motivator for a child, showing them that by choosing to be fair, they are attaining a truly noble and rewarded status. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1329, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Verily, the most beloved of people to Allah on the Day of Judgement will be the just leader, and the most hated of people to Allah on the Day of Judgement will be the oppressive leader.’ 

A Test of Patience and Principle 

By explaining fairness as both a guiding principle and a test of patience, you help your child to practise it sincerely, even when others do not. This builds both their moral clarity and their emotional resilience, preparing them to navigate an imperfect world with dignity and strength.