What should I do when my child is always the one blamed in group activities at school? 

Parenting Perspective 

Listen and Validate Their Feelings 

Being consistently singled out for blame during group activities can severely damage a child’s self-esteem. The first step is to listen to their side of the story without immediately jumping to conclusions. Acknowledging their feelings by saying, ‘It must feel very upsetting to be blamed all the time,’ lets them know that you are on their side and that their feelings are valid.

Build Their Confidence and Skills 

Often, quieter or less assertive children can become easy targets for blame. You can help by role-playing scenarios at home, practising calm and clear phrases like, ‘Actually, that was not my part of the project.’ This builds their confidence to speak up respectfully. At the same time, be sure to reinforce their strengths and positive qualities at home so that they do not begin to internalise the unfair blame. 

Communicate with Teachers 

If the pattern continues, it is important to speak privately with the teacher. You can share what your child has been experiencing and ask for the teacher’s observations. Often, a teacher can help by monitoring the group dynamics more closely or by structuring activities to ensure fairness. This shows your child that their concerns are taken seriously and that you are their advocate. 

Spiritual Insight 

Stand Firm for Justice 

Islam places a powerful emphasis on justice. The Quran commands believers to stand firmly for what is right, even if it is difficult. This reassures a child that their desire for fairness is a divinely sanctioned instinct. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 8: 

‘ You who are believers, become steadfast (in your devotion) to Allah (Almighty), corroborating all of that which is just; and never let your hatred of any nation prevent you from being just, – let justice prevail…’ 

Help Your Brother, Oppressor or Oppressed 

This profound hadith teaches that our duty is to stand against injustice in all its forms. This means defending the one who is oppressed (blamed unfairly) and stopping the one who is oppressing (blaming unfairly), which protects everyone involved. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 2444, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or oppressed.’ The companions asked, ‘We understand helping him if he is oppressed, but how can we help him if he is an oppressor?’ He replied, ‘By preventing him from oppressing others.’ 

Finding Strength in Honesty 

When you explain to your child that Allah values truth and justice far more than the opinion of any group, they learn to find strength in their own honesty. This spiritual grounding, combined with your unwavering support, will help them to handle unfair situations with dignity and resilience.