Parenting Perspective 

Children are very observant. Even when parents avoid talking about money directly, a child can sense the tension through their tone of voice, their behaviour, or sudden changes in the family’s lifestyle. When financial struggles are hidden, children know that something is wrong but cannot understand what it is, which can create a silent, gnawing anxiety. This hidden worry can be more damaging than a gentle, honest explanation, as it leaves a child to fill the silence with their own worst fears. 

Creating Emotional Confusion and Anxiety 

The unspoken tension in the home can be deeply unsettling for a child. They may become hyper-vigilant, constantly trying to decipher the mood of their parents. This state of high alert is emotionally exhausting and can interfere with their ability to focus on school and play. 

Fostering Feelings of Distrust and Distance 

When children eventually realise that their parents are not being transparent with them, it can weaken the bond of trust. They may begin to question whether their parents will be truthful in other matters, creating an emotional distance in the relationship. Some may feel excluded, as though they are not considered important enough to be included in family challenges. 

The Behavioural and Long-Term Effects 

This atmosphere of secrecy can have lasting consequences. 

• Suppressed Worries: Children may start to hide their own needs or emotions, thinking they must not ‘add to the problem’. 

• Resentment: Older children may feel frustrated when they learn the truth, believing that honesty would have helped them to prepare emotionally. 

• Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Growing up with secrecy may lead them to avoid open communication in their own adult relationships. 

Healthy Alternatives for Parents 

Instead of hiding struggles, parents can build trust through gentle honesty. 

• Offer age-appropriate explanations, assuring your child that the family is facing a challenge but remains safe and united. 

• Keep daily routines as steady as possible to provide a continuing sense of normality and security. 

• Highlight gratitude for what you do have, showing your child that blessings are always greater than worries. 

• Encourage open communication, so that your child feels their concerns are heard and respected. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that honesty and sincerity (naṣīḥah) are the foundations of strong relationships, especially within the family. Hiding struggles can create an atmosphere of distrust, whereas facing them with faith and gentle transparency can become a powerful lesson for children in resilience and reliance on Allah. 

A Quranic Reminder on Facing Trials 

The Quran teaches that difficulties are a temporary part of life, and that every hardship is accompanied by the promise of ease from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5-6: 

‘ Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).‘ 

This verse teaches families that struggles are temporary and are always followed by Allah’s promise of relief. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Transparency and Sincerity 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that sincerity is the very essence of the religion, and this principle extends to our family lives. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 55, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘“Religion is sincerity.” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk”.’ 

This hadith highlights the importance of honesty and sincerity, which are essential for building trust within a family. 

By gently sharing that the family is facing a challenge, without overwhelming them with detail, parents can model sincerity and reliance on Allah. This teaches children that even in hardship, a family can remain honest, united, and hopeful. It reassures them that life’s difficulties do not need to be hidden, but can be met with patience and trust in Allah’s wisdom.