Parenting Perspective 

Children are very sensitive to the atmosphere in their home. When they see their parents feeling stressed, borrowing money, or overworking just to meet the demands of cultural traditions, they often feel a sense of guilt and worry. Instead of seeing these traditions as joyful occasions, they may begin to associate them with hardship and tension. 

The Emotional Weight of Observing Struggle 

Watching a parent struggle financially for the sake of a cultural practice can be a heavy emotional burden for a child. It can make them feel anxious and insecure about the family’s stability and well-being. 

Feelings of Guilt and Helplessness 

Children may internalise the belief that they are the cause of their parents’ struggles, especially if the tradition is related to one of their own milestones, such as a birthday or a wedding. This sense of guilt can stay with them for a long time, affecting their confidence and sense of self-worth. 

The Loss of Joy in Traditions 

Traditions are meant to bring families closer, yet when the focus shifts to the financial burden they create, children may no longer feel any excitement for them. They can grow anxious during festive seasons, dreading the stress they see their parents endure. This weakens both family unity and their connection to their culture. 

The Long-Term Consequences 

This environment can have lasting effects. 

• Distrust in Culture: Children may come to reject certain traditions, viewing them as unfair and damaging. 

• Financial Anxiety: Growing up around money-related stress may make them fearful of their own future responsibilities. 

• Resentment: They may resent the community expectations that force their parents into financial difficulty. 

Supporting Children Through Honest Guidance 

Parents can protect their children by explaining the difference between cultural pressures and genuine values. Choosing simplicity, setting clear financial limits, and involving children in modest but meaningful traditions teaches them that love, unity, and faith matter more than extravagance. When parents model confidence in prioritising needs over appearances, children feel both relieved and proud. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam is a religion of ease and balance, and it strictly forbids placing unnecessary financial burdens upon oneself to meet cultural expectations. The pressure to spend beyond one’s means for the sake of tradition is a harmful innovation that contradicts the core principles of the faith. 

A Quranic Reminder on Avoiding Burdens 

The Quran reminds us that our faith is meant to be a source of ease and upliftment, not a crushing weight. Cultural practices that distort this balance are not from Islam. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…‘ 

This verse shows that any tradition that imposes an unbearable financial or emotional burden is contrary to the mercy of our religion. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Prioritising Needs 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a person’s primary responsibility is to care for their dependents, not to satisfy the cultural expectations of others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 996, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects those whom he is responsible to feed.’ 

This hadith highlights that providing for one’s family takes precedence over spending on cultural displays. 

By showing children that Islam values ease and fairness, parents can help them to develop a sense of pride in simplicity. This reassures them that their family’s dignity lies not in wealth or cultural approval, but in their faith and sincerity. This, in turn, nurtures both their emotional security and their spiritual resilience.