Parenting Perspective 

When children are forced to follow traditions without any explanation, the practice can feel like an empty rule rather than a meaningful act. This approach can create resistance, boredom, or even resentment. Instead of developing a connection to their culture or faith, children may begin to associate their traditions with pressure and control. 

A Loss of Emotional Connection 

For traditions to be passed down successfully, they must have meaning. When a child is compelled to follow a custom without understanding its purpose, they do not form an emotional bond with it. The practice remains external, something done for others, rather than an internal part of their identity. 

Creating Confusion About Identity 

Being forced into rituals they do not understand can leave children questioning why they are doing them at all. They may begin to see traditions as burdensome or irrelevant. Over time, this confusion weakens their cultural and spiritual identity, making them less likely to carry these practices into their own adult lives. 

The Risk of Rebellion 

Children who feel pressured without clarity may eventually rebel, rejecting not only the tradition but also the values behind it. For example, being forced to dress a certain way ‘because it is tradition’ may lead them to resent the practice, instead of appreciating the wisdom of modesty it may represent. 

Weakening Family Bonds 

Instead of feeling supported in their journey of discovery, children can feel judged or unheard when their questions are dismissed. This can damage the trust between a parent and child. Parents, in turn, may feel frustrated when their children do not comply, creating unnecessary conflict in the home. 

Nurturing Understanding Instead of Force 

Parents can protect their children from these harms by inviting them into their traditions with wisdom. 

• Explain the meaning behind traditions in a way that is appropriate for their age. 

• Link practices to positive values, such as kindness or respect, so that children see their relevance. 

• Allow children to ask questions and encourage a sense of curiosity about their heritage. 

• Model joy and sincerity when following traditions, so that children associate them with positive feelings. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam is a religion of understanding and sincerity, not of blind, forced ritual. Forcing a child to practise a tradition without explaining its spiritual purpose can be counterproductive, as it risks creating a generation that performs actions without any connection to their heart. 

A Quranic Reminder on Understanding Faith 

The Quran repeatedly encourages believers to think, reflect, and understand their faith, rather than simply imitating practices without knowledge. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Muhammad (47), Verse 24: 

‘ Why do they not deliberate on what is in the Quran; or is it that their hearts are bolted with (ignorance)?‘ 

This verse highlights the importance of reflection, not blind imitation, in building a true connection to one’s faith. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Gentleness 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the most effective way to guide others is through kindness and patience, not through force. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6927, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.’ 

This hadith reminds us that teaching children our traditions with gentleness is more beloved to Allah and more effective than a harsh approach. 

By combining explanation, reflection, and a gentle approach, parents can help their children to see traditions as a valuable and meaningful part of their lives. This nurtures a deeper connection, allowing children to grow with a sincere respect for their heritage and faith, free from resentment or confusion.