Parenting Perspective 

When a child is judged by their peers based on the type of car their family owns or the size of their house, it can create an unfair emotional burden that has no connection to the child’s own character or efforts. These kinds of comparisons reduce a child’s value to mere material possessions, which can deeply harm their confidence and sense of belonging. 

Creating Feelings of Shame and Inferiority 

Children may feel embarrassed to invite friends over or avoid talking about their family’s possessions for fear of being mocked. This shame can lower their self-esteem, leading them to believe they are somehow ‘less’ than their peers. 

The Risk of Envy and Conflict 

This situation can foster negative feelings in multiple directions. 

• A child may begin to envy classmates with bigger houses or newer cars. 

• Some may pressure their parents to ‘keep up’, which can create tension within the family. 

• Others might grow resentful towards their peers, which can damage potential friendships. 

The Distortion of Core Values 

When material status is presented as the measure of a person’s worth, children may wrongly conclude that success is about possessions, not about effort, honesty, or kindness. This weakens their resilience and distracts them from more meaningful personal goals. 

Supporting Children Through Material Judgment 

Parents can help their children navigate these shallow judgments with confidence. 

• Reassure your child that possessions do not define a person’s dignity or worth. 

• Praise qualities such as good manners, kindness, and effort far more than any outward displays. 

• Remind them that while homes and cars are blessings, they are not a measure of a person’s true value. 

• Build pride in their own identity by sharing family stories that emphasise simplicity and resilience. 

This approach equips children with a healthier perspective, helping them to rise above the judgment of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a person’s true honour is found in their righteousness, not in their worldly possessions. To judge others based on their material status is a form of arrogance that creates distance between a person and the virtues of humility and gratitude. 

A Quranic Reminder Against Arrogance 

The Quran explicitly warns against the kind of pride and boastfulness that is often associated with wealth and status. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 18: 

‘ And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting.‘ 

This verse reminds us that arrogance based on worldly status is a trait that is despised by Allah. 

The Prophetic Teaching on True Wealth 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the greatest form of wealth is an internal quality, not an external possession. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Wealth is not in having many possessions, but true wealth is the richness of the soul.’ 

This hadith teaches that what truly defines a person is their inner contentment and character, not their house or car. 

By teaching children that Allah values sincerity, gratitude, and humility above all possessions, parents can protect their hearts from the pain of shame or envy. This nurtures resilience and self-respect, ensuring children understand that their worth is measured by their faith and character, not by material comparisons.