Parenting Perspective 

When children’s birthday parties become competitions over who has the biggest venue or the most expensive entertainment, the celebration can become a source of stress rather than joy. Instead of looking forward to celebrating with friends, a child may begin to worry about whether their own party will be able to measure up. 

Creating Pressure and Anxiety 

A child may feel embarrassed if their party is simpler than those of their peers. They might worry that their friends will judge them, which can lead to anxiety about hosting birthdays at all. 

Causing a Strain on Family Relationships 

This social pressure can create tension within the family. A child might plead with their parents to spend beyond their means, leading to conflict at home. If parents set sensible financial limits, the child may misinterpret this as a lack of care, even when it is a sign of responsible planning. 

The Negative Impact on Social Bonds 

Competition over parties can change the very purpose of a birthday celebration. Instead of being a time for friends to bond, it can become an occasion for children to rank one another’s events. This fosters jealousy, exclusion, and friendships that are based on shallow values. 

Supporting a Healthy Approach to Celebrations 

Parents can ease this stress by shifting the focus back to what truly matters. 

• Emphasise that birthdays are about gratitude and togetherness, not about putting on a show. 

• Create meaningful, low-cost family traditions, such as baking a special cake together or decorating the home with handmade items. 

• Praise kindness and thoughtfulness in hosting an event, rather than focusing on extravagance. 

• Encourage children to value presence and memories over expensive displays and gifts. 

This helps to restore birthdays as times of genuine joy and connection, free from the pressures of competition. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strongly discourages extravagance and any kind of rivalry over worldly matters. When celebrations become a competition of expense, it undermines the virtues of humility and gratitude. This can foster arrogance in one child while causing feelings of shame in another. 

A Quranic Reminder on Moderation 

The Quran explicitly warns believers against wasteful spending, linking it to ungratefulness and the influence of Satan. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 26-27: 

‘And give those who are your relatives their due rights, and the needy and the traveller; and do not squander your wealth, extravagantly. Indeed, those who are extravagant (i.e. wasteful of their wealth) these are the brothers of the Satan, as the Satan has always been ungrateful to his Sustainer.‘ 

This powerful verse teaches us that extravagance is a serious spiritual flaw that displeases Allah. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Simplicity 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that while celebration and enjoyment are permitted, they must always be done without excess or arrogance. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3605, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Eat, drink, and give in charity without extravagance or pride.’ 

This hadith provides a clear and balanced approach, allowing for enjoyment while forbidding wastefulness and pride. 

By connecting birthday celebrations to gratitude, prayer, and family connection, parents can shield their children from the harm of social competition. This nurtures humility and resilience, reminding them that the best celebrations are those filled with love and the remembrance of Allah, not those with the biggest price tags.