Parenting Perspective 

It is a natural part of childhood to question things that seem unfair, whether it is seeing a sibling get more attention, losing a game, or feeling that their duas have not been answered. In these tender moments, a child’s trust in both you and in Allah can feel particularly fragile. Protecting that trust requires a delicate balance of acknowledging their feelings while gently guiding them towards a bigger perspective. If their hurt is dismissed, or if they are offered only quick, simplistic answers, they may feel that their struggle has not been truly seen. Instead, it is important to respond with empathy, honesty, and hope.

 

Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings 

Before offering any explanation, it is crucial to first validate their feelings. A simple statement like, ‘I can understand why that feels so unfair to you right now,’ shows that you are listening. A child’s trust grows when they know that you are not minimising their struggle. 

Gently Broaden Their Perspective on Fairness 

You can help your child to see that Allah’s fairness is not always visible in a single moment. You could say, ‘Sometimes Allah gives one person a particular challenge and another person a particular ease, but we have to trust that He is always perfectly fair in the end.’ Using a simple analogy they can grasp, such as how a teacher might give different tasks to different students based on their individual level, can be very helpful. 

Model Patience in Your Own Life 

When you are faced with a situation that feels unfair, you can model a response of reliance and trust. Letting your child hear you say, ‘This is a difficult situation, but I am going to trust in the wisdom of Allah,’ teaches a powerful lesson. Children learn far more from your lived example than from your lectures. 

Reassure Them with the Promise of Divine Justice 

Remind your child of the bigger picture. A gentle reminder like, ‘Even if something in this life feels unfair, we know that Allah is the Most Just, and He will reward every moment of our patience and fix every wrong in the Hereafter,’ can build a sense of hope that extends beyond the immediate situation. 

Empower Them Through Dua 

Encourage your child to turn their feelings of frustration into a prayer. Prompting them to say, ‘Ya Allah, please help me to feel strong and hopeful through this,’ teaches them that they are never helpless in the face of their struggles. 

Through these steps, your child can learn that while fairness in this world may sometimes be limited, the justice and mercy of Allah will never fail them. This understanding can help to preserve their trust, even in moments of disappointment. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quran on the Unlimited Reward for Patience 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 10: 

‘“…Indeed, those people that were resilient shall be rewarded with what is their due, without any limitations”.’ 

This beautiful verse can teach a child that even when life feels unfair, every single moment of patience they show is being seen and will be rewarded by Allah in a way that is abundant and beyond measure. This helps to turn a feeling of unfairness into an opportunity for immense eternal gain. 

Prophetic Wisdom on Finding Good in Every Situation 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2999, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Wondrous is the affair of the believer, for there is good for him in every matter If something good happens to him, he is grateful and that is good for him; and if hardship befalls him, he is patient and that is good for him.’ 

This hadith shows us that through the lens of faith, the wisdom of Allah can transform every situation into a source of goodness for a believer. By sharing these words, parents can teach their children that while life may not always look fair on the surface, Allah is always caring for them, always ready to reward them, and will always bring about perfect justice in the end. This deep reassurance can protect their trust, both in you as their parent, and in Him as their ultimate Protector.