Parenting Perspective 

Children often feel torn between doing what is right and staying loyal to their peer group. The fear of being labelled a ‘snitch’ can silence them, even when they know that something harmful is happening. As a parent, you can help to shift this mindset by showing them that speaking up to a trusted adult is not an act of betrayal, but one of responsibility. While remaining silent allows harm to continue, involving an adult helps to protect both themselves and others. This change in perspective allows them to see courage, not shame, in seeking help. 

Prepare Your Child with a Clear Plan 

You can guide your child to identify one trusted adult at their school, perhaps a form tutor, a counsellor, or a teacher who understands them. Then, you can practise some simple and respectful lines that they can use when approaching this person. 

‘Excuse me, may I talk to you privately about something important?’ 

‘I am feeling uncomfortable with something I saw, and I would like your advice.’ 

‘I would like some guidance on how to handle a difficult situation.’ 

Practising these lines at home can help to build your child’s confidence and allow them to approach adults with dignity. It is important to reassure them that maturity lies in knowing when to ask for help, not in keeping quiet when something is wrong. The more you normalise this at home, the less likely they are to feel shame when they need to do it at school. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam calls on all believers to protect goodness and to prevent harm wherever they can. Reaching out to a trusted adult for support in a difficult situation is a part of fulfilling this duty and is considered an honourable act, not a shameful one. 

The Duty to Stand for What is Right 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 104: 

‘(In order that) there may develop from you a nation that invites (people) towards betterment; by promoting that which is positive (in its outcome) and forbidding that which is negative (in its outcome); and those are the successful people.’ 

This verse reminds us that the courage to involve a trusted adult when something is wrong is a step towards success in the sight of Allah Almighty. 

The Prophetic Model of Courage 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught believers that harm should never be ignored, but should be addressed in whatever way a person is able. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5008, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; if he is not able to do so, then with his heart and that is the weakest of -faith.’ 

This hadith validates your child’s effort to seek help by using their words. It shows that speaking to a trusted adult is not ‘tattling’ but is in fact an act of faith and responsibility. Framing it in this way teaches your child that bravery in Islam is measured by a person’s integrity, not by their silence in the face of peer pressure.