Parenting Perspective 

Rejection or harsh feedback at sports trials, auditions, or selections can be crushing for a child who has worked hard and invested themselves emotionally. Their confidence often dips because they can equate a single performance with their overall worth. Parents can help to stabilise their confidence by reframing the experience, offering a wider perspective, and showing them that self-belief is built across many moments, not just one particular outcome. 

Acknowledge the Disappointment First 

Instead of rushing in with reassurances, it is important to start by naming and validating their feeling. You could say, ‘That was a really tough experience. I can see how disappointed you are.’ This validates their feelings and helps them to feel heard. Skipping this crucial first step risks making them feel that their pain is being brushed aside. It is important to let them talk, cry, or even just be silent; processing the emotion must come before reframing it. 

Shift the Focus from the Outcome to Their Effort 

Remind your child that auditions and trials are assessments of a momentary performance, not a judgement on them as a person. Point out the specific things that they had control over, for example, ‘You showed up on time, you gave your full effort, and you learned some new drills.’ This helps to break the mindset that only winning counts and teaches them that sincere effort carries its own value. 

Frame It as Part of a Bigger Story 

Help your child to zoom out and see the bigger picture. Every successful athlete, actor, or public figure has faced rejection at some point. You can share real examples with them, such as J.K. Rowling’s many rejected manuscripts, or famous athletes who were dropped from teams before they made their breakthroughs. This shows them that resilience is a more reliable predictor of success than early selection, and it prevents one harsh moment from becoming their defining story. 

Introduce a Reflection Ritual 

You can create a short post-trial routine with two simple questions: 

• ‘What is one thing that went well today?’ 

• ‘What is one thing to improve on for next time?’ 

This practice balances encouragement with a growth mindset and can stop their mind from looping on a feeling of failure. 

Diversify Their Sense of Identity 

Encourage your child to explore their different strengths outside of the activity where they faced rejection. Even small wins in other areas, such as helping out at home, excelling in their studies, or showing kindness to a friend, can remind them that they are more than just a single role. This diversification helps to keep their confidence steady, even when one avenue falters. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, trials and setbacks are not seen as punishments, but as divinely ordained opportunities for growth, patience, and drawing closer to God. 

Trials as a Means of Growth 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 2: 

‘Does mankind make the assumption that by saying “We have believed”, they will be discharged (from any responsibility); and they will not face any tribulations?’ 

This verse teaches us that tests and disappointments are an inevitable part of our path to spiritual strength. A setback in sports or the arts can be seen as one of these tests, designed to refine our patience and perseverance. 

Building Resilience Through Striving 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 79, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not give up.’ 

This hadith shifts our focus away from any harsh external judgement and towards the importance of continued striving. Strength is measured not only by outward success but also by persistence, discipline, and reliance on Allah Almighty. 

After a rejection, parents can guide their child to recite the supplication, ‘Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal wakeel’ (Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs). This simple act helps to anchor the child in their faith and reminds them that their ultimate worth is not tied to the judgement of human beings, but to their sincerity and effort in the sight of Allah Almighty.