How to Answer When a Child Asks if Allah Is Punishing You 

Parenting Perspective 

Her Question Is a Sign of Vulnerability 

When a child faces repeated difficulties, especially after the death of a loved one, it is natural for her to search for meaning and to question why these events are happening. Her question is not disobedience, but a sign of her vulnerability and her effort to make sense of her world. As a parent, your role is to respond with compassion, patience, and clarity. 

Acknowledge Her Feelings First 

Begin by acknowledging her feelings rather than rushing to correct them. You might say, ‘I understand why it feels that way to you. When many hard things happen at once, it can be confusing.’ This helps her feel seen and reassured that her emotions are valid. 

Guide Her to a Balanced Understanding 

From there, gently guide her towards a more balanced understanding of Allah. Explain that challenges are not necessarily punishments but can be part of the tests that Allah allows us to experience, tests that help us grow closer to Him. Share examples of people who faced hardship yet were honoured, such as the Prophets, so she realises that difficulty is not a sign of rejection but of trust from Allah. 

Help Her Notice Moments of Ease 

On a practical level, help her notice the moments of ease that remain in her life. Encourage gratitude for small blessings, while still giving space to express sadness. Create routines of comfort in your home so she feels secure despite the changes. When she sees your steady confidence in Allah’s mercy, it will strengthen her own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Does Not Burden a Soul Beyond Its Capacity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity; bearing the (fruits of the) goodness he has earnt, and bearing the (consequences of the) evil he has earnt (in the worldly life) …’  

This assures us that difficulties are not punishments without measure, but experiences within our capacity, with Allah’s wisdom and justice behind them. 

Trials Are Not a Sign of Punishment 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 75, Hadith 5, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever Allah intends good for, He afflicts him with trials.’  

This hadith reframes hardship not as a sign of punishment, but as an opportunity for purification, resilience, and closeness to Allah. 

By sharing these teachings with your daughter, you can help her see that even in times of hardship, Allah’s mercy is present. His trials are not rejections, but part of His way of drawing us nearer. Encourage her to see each act of patience, prayer, and gratitude as evidence that her family is being honoured, not abandoned. 

Through this balance of empathy and guidance, you can help her feel both comforted in her grief and reassured of Allah’s unending mercy.