How to Talk About Change When Your Kids Say, ‘I Do Not Want to Hear It’ 

Parenting Perspective 

Their Shutdown Comes From Fear, Not Rejection 

When children shut down at the mention of change, it often comes from fear, not rejection of you. They may worry that listening will make the change more real, or that they will feel emotions they are not ready to face. For a parent, this can be frustrating, especially when you want to prepare them with honesty. 

Shift From Long Explanations to Gentle Entry Points 

The key is to shift from long explanations to gentle entry points. Instead of forcing a conversation, offer smaller doses of information at times when your child feels safe and calm. For example, during a shared activity or bedtime routine, you might start with a simple comment: ‘Something will be different soon, but I will be here with you through it.’ This opens the door without overwhelming them. 

Respect Their Pace 

Respect their pace by showing that you will not push. If they resist, you can say, ‘I understand this feels hard to hear right now. When you are ready, I will be here to talk.’ This balances honesty with respect for their emotional capacity. Over time, repeated small assurances can soften resistance more effectively than one big talk. 

Model Calm Confidence 

It also helps to model calm confidence. Children watch how you carry the weight of change. If you show steadiness and make space for both silence and dialogue, they learn that conversations about change are not threats but invitations. 

Spiritual Insight 

Provide Stability Through Faith 

Our tradition reminds us that change is a part of life, but that Allah’s care and mercy remain constant. When children resist hearing about change, they are really seeking stability, which Islamically we are guided to provide in our homes. 

In the Remembrance of Allah Do Hearts Find Rest 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’  

This Verse reminds us that reassurance comes not only from words but from the calm presence that reflects trust in Allah. When you sit with your children in patience and offer small, steady reminders, you are embodying that tranquility for them. 

Make Things Easy, Do Not Make Them Difficult 

It is recorded in Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 152, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make them difficult, give glad tidings and do not cause aversion.’ 

This guidance teaches that conversations should be gentle and paced in a way that encourages openness rather than resistance. 

By approaching your children with softness, linking honesty to reassurance, and modelling calm reliance on Allah, you show them that conversations about change are not to be feared. Instead, they become a way of remembering that Allah’s care is with the family through every transition.