How should families handle it if extended relatives ignore house rules about screen-free zones? 

Parenting Perspective 

Set Boundaries with Courtesy 

It can feel awkward to enforce house rules when relatives are visiting, especially when it comes to screen-free zones. The best approach is to communicate the boundary gently but clearly, either before or at the start of the visit: ‘We have a family rule about keeping phones away from the table so we can all enjoy the conversation.’ By framing it as a way to build warmth rather than as a strict prohibition, it is easier to avoid creating tension. 

Model the Rule Consistently 

Children are quick to notice if their parents enforce a rule for them but let it slide for visiting relatives. To avoid sending confusing signals, parents must continue to model the desired behaviour themselves, even if their guests do not. Visibly putting their own phones away reinforces to the children that the family’s core values remain consistent, regardless of who is visiting. 

Protect Children from Mixed Messages 

If a relative’s behaviour seems to undermine a family rule, the parent can take their child aside and explain privately: ‘Different families have different rules, and that is okay. In our home, we choose to do what we feel brings us the most peace and barakah.’ This approach helps children understand and respect differences without feeling resentful, keeping the family’s own values strong. 

Spiritual Insight 

Honouring Differences with Righteousness 

The Quran teaches that human beings were created with differences, and our true honour in the sight of Allah is based not on conforming to others, but on our own righteousness (taqwa). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘ O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.‘ 

Advice Must Be Sincere and Wise 

While the religion is based on sincere advice, it must be delivered with wisdom, patience, and kindness. When dealing with relatives, it is important to uphold our values in a way that preserves the bonds of kinship. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, 4199, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The religion is sincere advice.’ 

Upholding Values with Dignity 

By setting boundaries with courtesy, modelling consistency, and explaining differences with clarity, parents can uphold their household values without unnecessary conflict. This teaches children that protecting the peace and principles of one’s home is an important act of dignity and responsibility before Allah Almighty.