How should parents respond if a child is excluded from group chats and feels isolated? 

Parenting Perspective 

Being left out of online group chats can feel like a profound form of social rejection for a child, especially in a world where friendships are often measured by digital inclusion. It is important for parents to acknowledge this pain rather than minimising it, reassuring their child that their true worth is not defined by their inclusion in online groups. 

Acknowledge and Understand Your Child’s Hurt 

Begin by validating your child’s feelings with empathy. Acknowledging that it can be confusing and hurtful when unkind words or actions are presented as humour opens the door to communication. Dismissing their pain will only make them feel more isolated. 

Help Them See the Bigger Picture 

Gently explain that inclusion in a large group chat does not always guarantee real friendship. You can point out that exclusion is sometimes the result of a simple misunderstanding or carelessness, rather than a deliberate act of rejection. This helps to reduce your child’s sense of personal failure or shame. 

Support Positive, Real-Life Connections 

Encourage your child to shift their focus towards building and nurturing genuine, offline friendships. Facilitating one-to-one conversations or real-world activities can be very helpful. Greater involvement in sports, hobbies, or community groups can also strengthen their sense of belonging far beyond any single online circle. 

Rebuild Their Sense of Belonging at Home 

In moments of social exclusion, the family home should always feel like a secure and loving base. Prioritise shared family activities, maintain open and warm conversations, and offer unconditional love to remind your child that they are deeply valued and never alone. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a person’s true honour and sense of belonging come from their relationship with Allah, not from their inclusion in every social circle. Parents can remind their child that while exclusion by peers is painful, it has no bearing on their worth in the sight of their Creator. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us that our true worth lies not in our popularity or our inclusion in social groups, but in our level of righteousness (taqwa) before Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor does he forsake him, nor does he despise him.’ 

This teaching clarifies that true and lasting companionship is rooted in loyalty, mutual respect, and a commitment to protecting one another, not in the fleeting dynamics of online inclusion. 

By reminding your child that their value is secure with Allah, you can help them navigate the pain of social exclusion. Guiding them to seek out sincere friendships that reflect the Islamic values of kindness and brotherhood teaches them to prioritise real, meaningful connection over the often superficial nature of digital popularity.