What is the best way to reassure a child who fears they will lose all device privileges for telling the truth? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children will often hesitate to admit to something they have seen or done online because they are afraid of the consequences, especially the fear of having their devices taken away completely. This fear can push them towards secrecy, which is ultimately far more dangerous than the original mistake. Parents can help to overcome this by clearly separating the act of truthfulness from the act of punishment, showing their child that honesty will always be met with fairness and care. 

Start With Gratitude for Their Honesty 

When your child confesses a mistake to you, your very first response should be one of appreciation for their honesty: ‘Thank you for being honest with me about this. I know that takes courage.’ This initial response immediately builds trust and helps to reduce their fear of the punishment they are anticipating. 

Separate the Child From the Behaviour 

It is important to make a clear distinction in your language. You could say: ‘You are not in trouble for telling me the truth. We may need to adjust how we use our devices for a little while to keep you safe, but I will never punish you for being honest.’ This helps them to feel secure enough to come to you again in the future. 

Focus on Guidance, Not Just Loss 

Instead of resorting to threats of taking their devices away completely, which can feel punitive, try to set balanced and fair consequences. This could include more supervised use for a period, a temporary reduction in screen time, or the addition of new safety filters. Explain that your goal is always protection, not punishment. 

Build a ‘Safety-First’ Rule 

Establish a clear and explicit family rule that you can always refer back to. You can tell your child: ‘No matter what happens online, you can always tell me. Your honesty will always help us to solve any problem together.’ This establishes truthfulness as a core and protected value in your home. 

By reassuring your child in this way, you can teach them that telling the truth will always strengthen your relationship, not endanger it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that truthfulness (sidq) is a hallmark of a believer’s faith and should never be discouraged. It is a parent’s duty to nurture this quality in their children by responding to their honesty with wisdom, not with punishments that are rooted in anger or fear. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verses 119: 

‘ O you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and (always) be in the company of the truthful (people).‘ 

This verse is a direct command to align ourselves with truthfulness. Reminding a child of this can help them to see that their choice to be honest is a sign of their righteousness and their closeness to Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person.’ 

This beautiful teaching shows that a consistent habit of honesty is what brings a person honour and an immense reward from Allah. It is a quality to be celebrated, not a reason for shame or rejection. 

By grounding your reassurance in these core Islamic values, you can help your child to see that speaking the truth will always bring them safety, guidance, and blessings. Over time, they will learn that honesty is not something to be feared, but is in fact a source of deep trust and closeness, both with their parents and with Allah Almighty.