How can parents pick up on signs of low self-esteem after a child sees unrealistic or haram content online? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children are repeatedly exposed to unrealistic or haram content online, such as immodest influencers, idealised lifestyles, or distorted standards of beauty, it can quietly erode their self-esteem. They may not be able to articulate that they feel inadequate, but subtle changes in their behaviour and attitude can often reveal the impact. Parents who learn to recognise these early signals can intervene with much-needed reassurance and gentle guidance. 

An Increase in Negative Self-Talk 

Your child may begin making uncharacteristically critical comments about their own appearance, abilities, or overall worth. Listen for phrases that show they are comparing themselves unfavourably to the people they see online, such as, ‘I will never look like them.’ 

Withdrawal From Family or Activities 

A child who is struggling with their self-image may start to avoid family gatherings, shy away from being in photos, or lose interest in hobbies they once enjoyed. This is often because they secretly feel that they do not ‘measure up’ to the artificial standards they are consuming online. 

An Over-Preoccupation With Appearance 

An excessive amount of time spent in front of the mirror, a new obsession with taking selfies, or a meticulous focus on editing their photos before sharing them can all be signs of insecurity. This behaviour is often born from constant exposure to digitally altered and exaggerated online images. 

Noticeable Mood Shifts After Screen Use 

Pay attention to your child’s emotional state immediately after they have been using social media. A child who is usually confident but who regularly appears sad, withdrawn, or irritable right after scrolling through their feeds may be internalising harmful comparisons. 

Parents can gently explore these signs with compassion, saying something like: ‘I have noticed you have been a little quieter about yourself lately. Did something you saw online make you feel less than confident?’ This creates room for an honest conversation without shaming them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every human being has been honoured by their Creator, and a person’s worth is never defined by their physical appearance or their imitation of harmful influences. True and lasting value is found only in one’s piety (taqwa), good character, and remembrance of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.’ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder for children that their dignity is a gift directly from Allah; it is not something that is granted or taken away by digital comparisons or social media trends. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your bodies or your forms, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This profound teaching clarifies that true worth is measured not by our physical image or by worldly standards, but by the sincerity of our hearts and the righteousness of our actions. 

By noticing the subtle signs of low self-esteem and grounding your conversations in these powerful faith principles, you can help to restore your child’s sense of God-given honour. Over time, they can learn that no unrealistic image or harmful online content has the power to define them, because their true value is found in the beauty of their heart and their closeness to Allah Almighty.