How can parents tell if their child’s reluctance to go to school is linked to online harassment from peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

A child might be reluctant to go to school for many different reasons, such as academic pressure, friendship troubles, or simple tiredness. However, when this reluctance appears suddenly and becomes a persistent issue, parents should consider whether online harassment from classmates could be playing a role. Digital bullying often spills over into real-world school life, and children may begin to fear facing their peers after experiencing humiliating or cruel interactions online. 

Look for Sudden Patterns of Avoidance 

If your child was previously happy and comfortable at school but suddenly begins making frequent excuses to stay at home, this can be a significant red flag. This is especially true if the reluctance is more pronounced after a weekend or an evening of heavy device use, as this can suggest that online incidents are causing a dread about facing peers. 

Watch for Fear Around Specific Activities 

A child’s reluctance to go to school that seems to coincide with specific events, such as group projects, sports lessons, or other social activities, can often signal peer-related distress. This may be linked to something that was said or shared in a group chat or on social media the night before. 

Note Any Emotional and Physical Clues 

Frequent complaints of stomach aches, headaches, or tearful episodes in the morning can be physical manifestations of the deep anxiety a child feels about facing their classmates. Noticeable mood swings immediately after they check their messages are also very telling signs. 

Listen for Silence or Vague Excuses 

Children who are being harassed online may be unwilling to explain the real reason for their school avoidance. They might respond with vague excuses like, ‘I just do not want to go,’ or they may quickly change the subject when asked. This avoidance, when paired with visible signs of stress, often suggests something deeper than ordinary laziness. 

By carefully piecing these clues together, parents can gently begin to explore whether online harassment is the real reason for their child’s school avoidance, and then take the necessary steps to offer them reassurance and protection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every believer has been granted honour by Allah and must not be subjected to humiliation or mockery. Protecting one’s children from ridicule, whether it happens in person or online, is a fundamental part of a parent’s sacred trust (amanah). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verses 11: 

‘ Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them; and let not the women (ridicule) other women, as perhaps they may be better than them; and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

This verse is a direct prohibition of bullying and mockery. It reminds us that such behaviour is forbidden in Islam and is a source of deep and real harm. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2627, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the other Muslims are safe, and the believer is the one who is trusted with the lives and wealth of the people.’ 

This teaching establishes a core principle of our faith: a true believer should be a source of safety for others, never a source of harm. A child who is experiencing online harassment should be protected and reassured that Islam is firmly against this type of behaviour. 

By grounding their response in the Islamic values of dignity and justice, parents can reassure their child that the bullying they are experiencing is not a reflection of their own weakness, but is a wrongdoing on the part of others. This helps them to understand that they are honoured by Allah, and that their parents will protect them with both compassion and firmness.