What should parents look for if a child becomes unusually secretive about their devices? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a natural part of growing up for children, and especially teenagers, to desire more privacy. However, when their behaviour around digital devices becomes suddenly or excessively secretive, it may be a signal that they have been exposed to something harmful or inappropriate online. By paying close attention to specific signs and patterns, parents can learn to distinguish between a healthy need for privacy and a more risky form of secrecy. 

Sudden Changes in Behaviour 

If a child who was previously quite open with their device use suddenly starts hiding their screen, quickly switching apps, or closing tabs whenever you enter the room, this can suggest they are concealing activities they know you would not approve of. This shift from openness to concealment is a key indicator. 

Defensive or Irritable Reactions 

A child who snaps back with, ‘Why are you checking up on me?’ or becomes unusually angry when asked a simple question about their device use may be trying to protect something they do not want you to see. This defensiveness is often a screen for underlying guilt or fear. 

Unexplained Apps or Accounts 

The sudden appearance of new apps you do not recognise, hidden folders, or multiple social media accounts under different names is a common sign of secretive behaviour. Parents should also pay attention to apps that may be disguised under different icons or names. 

Changes in Their Routine or Mood 

Unexplained late-night device use that leads to fatigue, a new withdrawal from social activities, or visible stress immediately after using their device may indicate that the secrecy is linked to something harmful. This could include exposure to inappropriate content, negative peer pressure, or an experience with online bullying. These patterns often signal a deeper concern. 

By observing these patterns calmly and without immediate panic, parents can better judge when a child’s secrecy is a normal part of their growing need for privacy, and when it may require a gentle and supportive conversation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that secrecy and concealment born of shame often point towards actions that are harmful to the soul. At the same time, it encourages parents to be watchful shepherds, gently guiding their children back towards that which is safe and pure. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 179: 

‘ It is not (the desire) of Allah (Almighty) to leave the believers (in the state) that you (the extremists in disbelief) are currently in, (and to this effect) He (Allah Almighty) shall separate the evil from the good…’ 

This verse serves as a reminder that hidden actions and intentions eventually have an impact that becomes clear, as Allah Almighty always distinguishes truth from falsehood. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock a man is a shepherd over his family, and he will be asked about them.’ 

This teaching clarifies the immense responsibility placed upon parents. Part of this duty is to be observant of their children’s well-being and to guide them with wisdom and care when they see signs of trouble. 

By grounding their vigilance in a spirit of love and faith, parents can approach a child’s secrecy not with suspicion, but with the sincere aim of gently restoring trust, safety, and openness in their digital life.