How can parents balance learning from their child with still setting clear boundaries as the adult? 

Parenting Perspective 

In today’s digital age, it is increasingly common for children to be more knowledgeable about certain apps or online platforms than their parents. While it can be a healthy and positive experience for parents to learn from their children, there is often a worry that doing so might blur the lines of authority. The key is to approach your child’s technical knowledge with respect, while making it very clear that the responsibility for setting boundaries and making final decisions still rests with you as the parent. 

Acknowledge Their Expertise Without Surrendering Authority 

You can say to them: ‘I really appreciate that you know more about this app than I do, and I would like to learn from you. At the same time, as your parent, it is still my role to set the rules for how it is used in our home.’ This approach validates your child’s knowledge while simultaneously reinforcing your parental leadership. 

Differentiate Between Skills and Wisdom 

Make it clear that knowing how a platform functions is not the same as having the wisdom to know what is best for a person. Parents bring a lifetime of experience, emotional maturity, and a faith-based perspective to the table. You can frame it as a partnership: ‘You understand the tool, and I am here to help guide how and when it should be used for your own benefit.’ This highlights the value of your life experience. 

Use Shared Learning to Build Trust 

Allow your child to explain the features and functions of a platform to you, and then use those moments to discuss the values that underpin your family life. For example: ‘That feature is very interesting, but how do you think looking at that kind of content affects your mood or your time for prayer?’ This balances your genuine curiosity with moral guidance. 

Reinforce Boundaries Consistently 

Even while you are in the process of learning from your child, do not allow your core family rules to become negotiable in every conversation. Boundaries around screen time, modesty, or online safety should remain consistent. This shows that your parental guidance is rooted in care and core values, not just in technical know-how. 

By combining an openness to learn with a firm commitment to your role, you can model both humility and authority. This teaches your child that respect flows in both directions, but that the leadership for values and boundaries ultimately belongs to the adults in the family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours knowledge in all its forms, but it also reminds us that the primary responsibility for guidance rests with those who have been entrusted with authority. Parents are the designated shepherds of their households, a role that is not diminished by any differences in technical ability. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verses 6: 

‘ O you who are believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones…’ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that parents bear the ultimate responsibility for protecting and guiding their families, a duty that remains in place even when their children may have more knowledge in specific worldly areas. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 2928, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you will be asked about his flock. A ruler is a shepherd over his people, a man is a shepherd over his family and each of you is a shepherd and each of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

This teaching establishes that the role of a parent is one of leadership and accountability. It is a duty that requires them to guide with firmness and wisdom, even while they may be humble learners in other areas. 

By balancing learning with leadership, parents can show their children that humility does not reduce their authority, but in fact strengthens it with wisdom and grace. Over time, children learn that respect grows from both sides of the relationship, but that the responsibility for setting the family’s moral and ethical boundaries ultimately rests with their parents as a sacred trust (amanah) from Allah Almighty.