How should parents react when a teen says, “If I do not join in, I will have no one to talk to at school”? 

Parenting Perspective 

A teenager’s fear of being socially isolated is powerful and should never be dismissed. When they express this anxiety, the first step is to listen with empathy before offering guidance. 

Acknowledge Their Fear of Isolation 

Begin by validating their feelings: ‘I understand how scary it must feel to think you will be left out. Having good friends is incredibly important’. When a teen feels that you genuinely understand their fear, they become much more open to your advice. 

Shift the Goal from ‘Fitting In’ to ‘Being Respected’ 

Gently help them reframe the situation. You can explain, ‘There is a difference between being included and being respected. People might include you for copying them, but they will only truly respect you for having the courage to be yourself’. This helps them see that standing for their values is a source of honour, not shame. 

Equip Them with Social Resilience Skills 

Coach your teen on how to politely decline while keeping the social connection open. Role-play simple phrases like, ‘Nah, that is not really my thing, but what are you all doing afterwards?’ Encourage them to actively seek out friendships based on shared interests and values, such as in study groups, sports teams, or at the local masjid. 

By supporting their need for belonging while strengthening their moral backbone, you help your teen realise that they can survive, and even thrive, without compromising who they are. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that our ultimate loyalty is to Allah and that standing firm on our faith, even if it feels lonely, is a sign of great honour. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verse 22: 

‘ You will not be able to find a nation who (truly) believe in Allah (Almighty) and the Last Day, and then have affection for those people who oppose Allah (Almighty) and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)…’ 

This verse explains the heart of a true believer. Their love and loyalty to Allah are so strong that they naturally feel discomfort with people or trends that promote disobedience. It is a reminder that our first and most important sense of belonging must be with Allah. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave a special status to those who hold firm to their faith when it is not popular. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 145, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Islam began as something strange and will return to being strange, so glad tidings to the strangers.‘ 

This beautiful hadith is a source of immense comfort and pride. It reframes the feeling of being “different” or “left out” into a noble identity: being one of the “strangers” whom the Prophet ﷺ gave glad tidings to. This teaches a teen that standing firm on their deen is a mark of distinction, not a weakness.