How can parents explain withdrawal to a teenager who says, “It is just my way to relax”? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a teenager retreats to their room with screens and calls it “relaxing,” it is important to address the behaviour without attacking their need for downtime. The key is to help them differentiate between genuine rest and unhealthy emotional escape. 

Redefine ‘Relaxation’ vs. ‘Escapism’ 

Start by validating their need for space: ‘I understand that you need time to unwind, and that is important’. Then, gently offer a new perspective: ‘True relaxation should leave you feeling refreshed and re-energised afterwards, not more tired or moody. Sometimes, zoning out with a screen is more of an escape from stress than a real rest’. 

Use a Simple Health Analogy 

To make the point clearer, use a relatable comparison. You could say, ‘It is a bit like eating junk food. It feels good for a moment, but it does not actually nourish your body. Too much time alone with a screen can feel calming, but it does not always nourish your heart and mind’. This helps them understand the concept of empty emotional calories. 

Suggest Balance Instead of a Ban 

Instead of demanding they stop, propose a small addition. You can suggest, ‘Keep your chill time, but let us try adding a 20-minute walk or a quick game with the family first, and see if that helps you feel even better’. When they experience that healthy connection genuinely lifts their mood, they are more likely to seek it out themselves. 

By validating their need for downtime while gently broadening their idea of what true relaxation looks like, you can guide your teen back towards connection, not isolation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true tranquillity is found not in mindless distraction, but in mindful connection with Allah, and that resilience is built by engaging with the world, not withdrawing from it. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that (one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This verse provides the ultimate definition of relaxation. It reminds a teenager that the temporary numbness offered by a screen cannot provide the deep, lasting peace that the heart truly craves. That genuine rest is found only in turning towards Allah. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ praised the strength of those who engage with life’s challenges. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 4032, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer who mixes with people and bears their harm with patience has a greater reward than the one who does not mix with people and does not bear their harm.‘ 

This hadith teaches that isolating oneself from the world is not the path of greater strength or reward. True resilience is built by engaging with life and people while remaining spiritually grounded. It is an encouragement to face challenges with patience, not to hide from them in digital withdrawal.