How to Protect Your Kids From Favouritism by Relatives 

Parenting Perspective 

Buffer the Impact of Relatives’ Behaviour 

When relatives treat children differently, the sting of unfairness can feel very heavy, even if unintentionally caused. As a parent, you cannot always control the behaviour of extended family, but you can buffer its impact on your children. Start by acknowledging their feelings rather than minimising them. If a child says, ‘Why did they give her something and not me?’ respond with empathy: ‘I understand that hurt you. It does not mean you are less loved.’ This reassurance protects their emotional security. 

Create Balance at Home 

At the same time, create balance at home. If one child receives extra attention or a gift from relatives, privately affirm the others with your own time, words, or small gestures of appreciation. This shows them that their worth does not depend on outside validation. Avoid overcompensating with material things, as this can make fairness feel transactional. Instead, focus on consistent love, quality time, and recognition of each child’s strengths. 

Speak With Extended Family 

It is also valuable to speak with extended family where possible. A respectful reminder that children notice differences can encourage relatives to be more mindful. Even if change is slow, your children will see that you stand up for their dignity. 

Frame These Moments as Opportunities for Resilience 

Finally, help them frame these moments as opportunities to learn resilience. Guide them to see that people are sometimes unfair, but their value is not diminished by others’ choices. When children feel secure in your love and know that you see their worth, the pain of favouritism lessens, and they develop a stronger sense of self grounded in something deeper than others’ opinions. 

Spiritual Insight 

True Justice Belongs to Allah 

Islam teaches that true justice belongs to Allah alone, and this is a powerful reminder for children. 

Allah’s Justice Is Perfect and Unchanging 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-An’am (6), Verse 115: 

‘And the completed Revelation of your Sustainer is infinitely truthful and absolutely just, there can be no change to His Word (Divine Revelation); and He (Allah Almighty) is the All Hearing and Omniscient.’  

This Verse shows that while people may act unjustly, Allah’s justice is perfect, unchanging, and comprehensive. Teaching your children this helps them anchor their self-worth not in human behaviour, but in Allah’s eternal fairness. 

Fear Allah and Be Just With Your Children 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1623, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This hadith reminds parents and elders alike that justice between children is not optional, but an act of piety. Even if others fall short, you can model fairness in your own home as a living example of obedience to Allah. 

By acknowledging your children’s hurt, affirming their worth, and gently pointing them towards Allah’s perfect justice, you give them both comfort and clarity. Over time, they will learn that while people’s praise or gifts may come and go, the real source of fairness and value lies with Allah, who never overlooks them.