How to Reassure a Child Who Feels Less Loved 

Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

When a child accuses you of loving a sibling more, what they are really expressing is a fear of being less valued. Even if you know in your heart that you love them equally, the perception of imbalance can be painful for them. A practical way to respond is to first acknowledge their feelings rather than dismiss them. You might say, ‘I hear you. You are very important to me, and I love you deeply.’ This immediate reassurance calms the child before you address the comparison. 

Show Love in a Way That Matches Their Personality 

It is also helpful to show your love in ways that match each child’s personality. One child may value praise, another quality time, and another acts of service. When you intentionally meet each child’s needs in the way that makes them feel most seen, they are less likely to measure love by how you treat their siblings. 

Consistency in Fairness Is Crucial 

At the same time, consistency in fairness is crucial. Children pay close attention to how parents handle rewards, discipline, and attention. If one child feels they are always corrected while another is excused, resentment builds. Being mindful of balance in your daily interactions, even in small things like seating, turns or shared treats, helps reinforce the sense of fairness. 

Focus on Their Unique Worth 

Finally, when comparisons arise, keep the focus on each child’s unique worth rather than entering into debates about who is loved more. Instead of saying, ‘I love you both the same,’ which may feel vague, try ‘I love you for who you are, and your sibling for who they are. Allah gave me both of you, and I love you each as a blessing.’ This affirms love without fuelling competition. 

Spiritual Insight 

Uphold Fairness and Justice 

Islam places great emphasis on fairness and justice between children. 

Remain Upright in Upholding Justice 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An-Nisa (4), Verse 135: 

‘O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives…’  

This Verse highlights that justice is not optional but a duty to Allah. In the family, this means striving to be fair with children, not favouring one over another in love, gifts, or treatment. 

Fear Allah and Be Just with Your Children 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1623, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This guidance shows that fairness is part of Taqwa. For a parent, reassuring children that love, and justice are acts of worship helps them see that parental choices are rooted not in preference, but in obedience to Allah. 

By combining gentle reassurance with consistent fairness, you model both love and justice as acts of faith. In time, your children will come to understand that being treated fairly is not about competition but about your duty before Allah to love and nurture them equally.