How to Explain Fairness in Ramadan to a Younger Child 

Parenting Perspective 

Validate Both Feelings and Guide Each Child 

It is natural for children to compare themselves with their siblings, especially during Ramadan when the older child is visibly fasting and earning praise for it. For the younger one, the feeling of being left out can trigger sadness and a sense that they are missing something precious. At the same time, the older sibling may feel burdened if the attention is constantly on them for fasting. As a parent, your role is to validate both feelings and guide each child towards appreciating the stage they are in. 

Offer Age-Appropriate Alternatives 

For the younger child, it helps to offer age-appropriate alternatives that give them a sense of participation and reward. For example, you can encourage them to wake for suhoor with the family, help set the table for iftar, give water to those who are fasting, or memorise a short dua. Celebrate these actions by acknowledging that these are also acts of worship beloved to Allah. This reassures them that they are not excluded from the spirit of Ramadan, even if they are not fasting. 

Recognise the Older Child’s Effort 

For the older child, recognise the effort it takes to complete their fasts without making it seem that fasting is the only valuable deed. Remind them that patience with hunger is just one form of worship, and that their kindness towards their younger sibling is also part of their reward. This helps both children see that fairness does not mean doing the same thing, but that each is recognised for what is within their capacity. 

Affirm Their Unique Contributions 

Over time, if you consistently affirm their unique contributions, the younger child will learn that their stage is not inferior, just different, and the older will understand that fasting is part of a wider picture of worship and family contribution. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah’s Fairness Is Based on Capacity 

Islam teaches us that Allah’s mercy accounts for ability and effort, not just outcome. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity; bearing the (fruits of the) goodness he has earnt, and bearing the (consequences of the) evil he has earnt (in the worldly life)…’  

This Verse reassures us that each person is only accountable for what they are capable of, and that includes children who are not yet obliged to fast. Their longing to do good is noticed by Allah, and their small acts of worship are deeply valued. 

Consistent, Small Deeds Are Most Loved by Allah 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The deeds most loved by Allah are those that are consistent, even if they are small.’  

This Hadith can be explained to your children by showing that even simple deeds, such as helping with iftar or reciting a short Dua daily, can carry great weight with Allah. By highlighting this, you remind the younger child that they are not missing out, and you help the older child see that fasting is one part of a wider life of worship. 

By framing Ramadan as a season where everyone contributes in different but equally valuable ways, you ease the sense of unfairness and nurture a spirit of encouragement rather than rivalry. Each child learns that Allah values sincerity, effort, and consistency above comparison.