How to Protect Your Kids From Relatives’ Praise and Comparison 

Parenting Perspective 

Shape How They Interpret the Moment 

As a parent, you cannot always control what relatives say, but you can shape how your children interpret those moments. When one child is praised in front of the others, it is natural for the siblings to feel overlooked. What matters is how you respond in that moment and afterwards. 

Gently Balance the Conversation 

The first step is to gently balance the conversation. Without dismissing the praise, you can add, ‘Yes, she has worked hard on that, and you are really good at…,’ highlighting another child’s strength. This prevents one child from being placed on a pedestal at the expense of the others. 

Reassure Them Privately 

Afterwards, take time privately with the child who looked hurt. Reassure them that being less visible in one moment does not mean they are less valued. Tell them, ‘I love you for who you are, not just what you do. Your gifts are different, but equally important.’ This helps them feel seen in their own right. 

Prepare Them With Perspective 

You can also prepare your children with perspective. Teach them that sometimes people notice one thing, but Allah sees everything. Encourage them to clap for their sibling, knowing that their turn for recognition will come too. Over time, this builds resilience and reduces the sting of comparisons. 

Ensure They Feel Equally Cherished 

At the same time, be mindful not to overcompensate with exaggerated praise for the other children, as this can feel forced. Instead, make your appreciation specific, consistent, and fair. What protects their hearts most is not trying to control every comment from others, but ensuring that within your home, they know they are equally cherished, even if in different ways. 

Spiritual Insight 

Blessings Are Distributed With Wisdom 

Islam reminds us that every blessing is a trust from Allah, and comparison can harm both the one who receives praise and the one who feels overlooked.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An-Nahl (16), Verse 71: 

‘And Allah (Almighty) has preferred some a few over others in the provisions (of this world); but those people who have been preferred (in this way), do not share their provisions, even with those people that they are legally bound to (provide for), in case (it was deemed) that they had become equal to them; then is it the benefactions of Allah (Almighty) that they discard?’  

This Verse highlights that Allah distributes blessings differently among His servants, not as injustice but as wisdom. Parents can use this teaching to help children see that talents and opportunities are part of Allah’s decree, and jealousy only distracts from their own gifts. 

Build Love, Not Rivalry 

It is recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices over one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not undercut one another. Be, O servants of Allah, brothers.’  

Applied in the family, this Hadith reminds us to build love rather than rivalry. Teaching your children to be content with Allah’s distribution, and to support their siblings instead of competing with them, protects their hearts and strengthens their bond. 

In this way, you reassure each child that their worth is not tied to fleeting words of praise, but to their unique value before Allah and within your family.