How to Help Siblings Admire, Not Suffocate, Each Other 

Parenting Perspective 

Imitation Is Admiration 

It is very natural for younger siblings to copy their eldest brother or sister. For them, imitation is admiration, and it is also how they learn new behaviours. For the eldest, however, this constant attention can feel suffocating, as though they are not allowed to be their own person. Your role is to preserve the bond of admiration while also giving your eldest breathing space. 

Acknowledge Your Eldest’s Feelings 

Start by acknowledging your eldest child’s feelings. Let him know that it is normal to feel irritated and that his need for independence is valid. You might say, ‘I know it feels like your siblings are always following you. They copy you because they think you are important, but I also understand you need your own space.’ This validates his experience without dismissing the admiration of the younger ones. 

Guide Younger Siblings to Admire Differently 

Then, guide the younger siblings to admire in ways that are not overwhelming. For example, you can teach them to express appreciation with words instead of constant imitation. Encourage them to say, ‘I like how you did that,’ rather than copying immediately. Redirect their energy into finding their own interests, while still allowing them to learn from their older sibling. 

Create Separate Spaces and Responsibilities 

You can also create separate spaces and responsibilities. Give your eldest child certain activities or privileges that are just his own, while guiding the younger ones towards their own age-appropriate tasks. At the same time, set up family moments where the eldest is invited to lead in a way that feels empowering rather than restrictive, such as teaching a skill or leading a game. This helps transform the dynamic from constant copying into structured admiration. 

Protect His Space and Value His Role 

Finally, make sure to celebrate your eldest for his patience and leadership, while also affirming his right to individuality. When he sees that you notice his role but also protect his space, he will feel more secure and less resentful of his siblings’ admiration. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guide Relationships With Balance 

Islam teaches that siblings are a source of mercy for one another, but that justice and balance are essential in maintaining harmony. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Hujrat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’  

This Verse reminds us that relationships between siblings must be guided by reconciliation and balance. For your children, this means fostering love and admiration while ensuring that no one feels burdened or overlooked. 

Love Includes Respect for Space and Dignity 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 35, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress him, nor does he abandon him, nor does he lie to him, nor does he hold him in contempt.’ 

Applied here, this Hadith teaches that the younger siblings should be guided not to overwhelm their brother, and the eldest should be reminded not to treat his siblings with disdain. Each must learn that love includes respect for one another’s space and dignity. 

By validating your eldest child’s feelings, teaching the younger ones healthier ways to show admiration, and grounding the family in fairness and mercy, you create an environment where admiration does not become suffocating, but instead strengthens the bond between siblings in a way that honours both love and individuality.