How to Nurture Different Spiritual Personalities in Your Kids 

Parenting Perspective 

Nurture Both Children According to Their Personalities 

It is very normal for siblings to approach faith differently. One child may show calm focus in salah and enjoy reflective practices, while another may find stillness difficult and appear distracted. This difference does not necessarily reflect the depth of their faith but their temperament and developmental stage. Your responsibility is to nurture both children in ways that fit their personalities, without letting comparison take root. 

Meet Each Child Where They Are 

Start by meeting each child where they are. With the more reflective child, encourage their interest by giving them opportunities to deepen it, such as learning duas, exploring the meanings of short surahs, or asking thoughtful questions. With the more active child, bring movement and creativity into their worship. For example, allow them to call the adhan at home, help set up the prayer space, or recite aloud. This way, their energy is directed towards the same goal without forcing them into a mould that does not suit them. 

Avoid Language of Comparison 

It is also important to avoid language that suggests one child is ‘better’ at worship than the other. Instead of saying, ‘Your sister prays so nicely, why cannot you?’ try, ‘I love the way you both connect to Allah in your own ways.’ Then highlight specific efforts: the reflective child’s concentration, and the active child’s enthusiasm or willingness to join. This reinforces that both are on their own valid journey. 

Make Their Faith Journey Personal 

Finally, set aside individual moments to talk to each child about their relationship with Allah. Ask what helps them feel close to Him and listen without correcting too quickly. This builds confidence that their faith is personal, respected, and not constantly compared. Over time, this approach prevents jealousy and helps each child feel valued in their path towards Allah. 

Spiritual Insight 

Encourage Striving, Not Perfection 

In Islam, faith is recognised as a journey that grows differently for every individual. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’ 

 This Verse teaches that what matters most is sincere effort. A child who struggles to sit still in salah but tries repeatedly is still striving for Allah’s sake, and Allah promises guidance for such efforts. Your role is to encourage striving, not perfection, in both children. 

Allah Values the Intention Behind the Action 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 1, Hadith 1, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Deeds are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended.’  

This Hadith shows that Allah values the intention behind an action, not only its outward form. A child who fidgets but intends to connect with Allah is still earning reward, just as a reflective child is rewarded for their focus. 

By nurturing both children with fairness and wisdom, you demonstrate that Allah’s mercy encompasses different personalities and stages of development. This helps each child grow in faith without comparison, trusting that their sincere effort is seen and loved by Allah.