How to Make Your Quiet Child Feel Seen 

Parenting Perspective 

The Quiet Child Needs You Differently 

It is common for parents to feel pulled in two directions when one child naturally demands attention and the other remains quiet. The louder child may seem to dominate, not because they are more deserving, but because their needs are more visible. The quiet child, however, may begin to feel unseen if their silence leads to less interaction. 

Be Intentional About Noticing Them 

The first step is to become intentional about noticing your quieter child. This does not mean forcing them to be louder but recognising and affirming their qualities in ways that match their personality. A quiet child may appreciate one-to-one time, a gentle comment of appreciation, or a question that shows you are interested in their thoughts. Even a short daily moment of uninterrupted connection can reassure them that their presence is deeply valued. 

Teach the Louder Child Patience 

At the same time, your louder child benefits from boundaries around how much space they take. If they interrupt, you can calmly say, ‘I am listening to your brother right now, and then it will be your turn.’ This teaches patience while also signaling to the quieter child that their voice matters. Over time, both learn that attention in the family is not about who shouts loudest, but about fairness and respect. 

Give Each Child a Defined Role 

It can also help to give each child a defined role during family activities. For example, your quiet child could help plan a meal or choose the bedtime story, while the louder child could lead in setting the table or making a call to relatives. This balances visibility and responsibility in ways that suit their personalities. 

Ensure Each Child Feels Seen 

By creating small but regular opportunities for each child to be seen, you reassure both that they are equally important, even if their styles of expression differ. 

Spiritual Insight 

Every Human Being Carries Honour and Dignity 

Islam teaches us that each person has unique qualities, and a parent’s role is to nurture them with justice. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.’ 

This Verse reminds us that every human being carries honour and dignity, regardless of personality or temperament. A quiet child is no less honoured than a loud one, and both deserve to feel that their value is recognised. 

Justice Is Not Sameness 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This Hadith underlines that justice is not about sameness, but about ensuring that each child receives attention and care according to their needs. For your quieter child, justice may mean deliberate efforts to draw them in and acknowledge their contributions. For your louder child, justice may mean guiding their energy so that it does not overshadow others. 

By consciously balancing your responses, you model fairness rooted in wisdom. Your children will then understand that being noticed is not about competing for attention, but about being valued by both their parents and ultimately by Allah. This gentle clarity helps each child feel visible, respected, and loved in their own unique way.