How to Reassure Your Child Your Love Is Not Divided 

Parenting Perspective 

Reassure Them That Love Is Constant 

It is natural for children to feel insecure when they see a parent giving attention to a sibling. For them, love can feel like a limited resource, and your focus on one child may be misunderstood as a loss for another. What they need most in these moments is reassurance that love is not about taking turns but about something constant and unchanging. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Criticism 

One way to reassure your child is to acknowledge their feelings without criticism. You might say, ‘I can see you feel sad when I am with your sister, but my love for you is always here.’ This both validates their emotion and reminds them of your ongoing connection. Consistently returning to them after spending time with a sibling also shows through action that your love is not diminished. 

Create Predictable Moments of Connection 

Practical routines can also help. If each child has small, predictable moments with you, such as reading before bed, a short walk together, or helping with a task, they begin to trust that their turn for closeness is always coming. It is not the length of time that matters most, but the reliability of it. 

Express Love Openly 

At the same time, children benefit from hearing love expressed openly. Phrases such as, ‘Even when I am talking to your brother, my love for you stays the same,’ help them understand that attention and love are not identical. Over time, these repeated reassurances build an inner confidence that allows them to share your attention more peacefully. 

Spiritual Insight 

Showing Love Equally Is a Duty 

Islam provides clear guidance on the importance of showing love equally among children. When parents demonstrate fairness, children feel secure in knowing that their worth is not being compared. 

Justice Begins at Home 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty...’ 

This Verse reminds us that justice is a command from Allah. Within the family, justice includes treating children with fairness and ensuring each one feels valued, even if their needs are met in different ways. 

Fear Allah and Be Just With Your Children 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al-Mufrad, Book 5, Hadith 11, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This hadith shows that fairness in love and attention is not only good parenting but also an act of obedience to Allah. While each child may receive different forms of attention according to their needs, the love behind it must be equal and visible. 

By combining fairness with reassurance, you can help your child understand that your love is not divided but multiplied. In this way, they learn both emotional security and the Islamic value of justice, which will remain with them throughout their lives.