How to Show Love With Presence, Not Just Gifts 

Parenting Perspective 

Children Value Presence Over Presents 

It is understandable to turn to gifts or treats when you feel too tired to engage fully with your children. Many parents fall into this habit because it provides a quick way to express care, but over time it may leave children craving deeper connection. What children often value most is not what you give them materially, but the sense of being seen, heard, and cherished. 

Focus on Small, Intentional Interactions 

To shift towards more meaningful expressions of love, begin with small, sustainable changes. Instead of long periods of energy-demanding play, focus on short but intentional interactions. For example, when you are drained, a five-minute conversation where you look your child in the eye and ask about their day can be more nourishing than a toy. Similarly, simple gestures like a hug, a smile, or reading a page of a storybook together can communicate presence without overwhelming you. 

Build Rituals of Connection Into Daily Routines 

Another helpful approach is to build rituals of connection into daily routines so that love is woven into ordinary moments. A parent might say a short prayer over their child before sleep, share a gentle word of encouragement before school, or involve them in a household task with warmth and appreciation. These do not require extra time or money, but they help children feel that love is constant. 

Your Presence Holds Greater Meaning Than Any Gift 

It is also important to remind yourself that your presence, even in ordinary ways, holds greater meaning than any gift. Children remember how you made them feel more than what you bought them. By gradually reducing reliance on material expressions and adding consistent, heartfelt interactions, you show your children that love is not about treats but about relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Affection and Mercy Are the Foundation 

Islam places great emphasis on expressions of love that nurture the heart. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’  

This Verse reminds us that affection and mercy are the foundation of family ties, and they must be expressed through genuine connection, not only material provision. 

Love Is Shown Openly Through Affection 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Book 5, Hadith 50, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson Al-Hasan ibn Ali while Al-Aqra’ Ibn Habis was present. Al-Aqra’ said, ‘I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them.’ The holy Prophet ﷺ replied: 

‘He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’  

This demonstrates that love in Islam is meant to be shown openly through affection and attention, not only through providing or giving. 

For parents, this means that while gifts and treats can be occasional tokens of care, the most meaningful love is expressed through mercy, warmth, and presence. By focusing on even small but sincere acts of connection, you nurture your child’s heart in the way the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modelled, showing them that your love is constant and secure.