How to Stop a Lack of Support From Damaging Your Bond 

Parenting Perspective 

Your Feelings Do Not Define Your Value 

Feeling unsupported over time can deeply affect how you view yourself, especially as a mother. This doubt about your worth is a heavy burden, but it is important to remember that your bond with your children can remain strong and even grow through conscious effort and self-compassion. 

Acknowledge Your Efforts to Counter Negative Thoughts 

Begin by recognising that your feelings do not define your value or your ability to love and nurture. When negative thoughts arise, try to gently shift your focus to specific moments when you have shown care and patience, even in small ways. Acknowledging your efforts helps counter the damaging effects of feeling invisible or unappreciated. 

Create Intentional Moments of Connection 

You can also protect your bond by creating intentional quality time with your children, where your full attention is present. This does not have to be grand or time-consuming; brief, consistent moments of focused interaction, listening to their thoughts, playing, or sharing simple routines, can build a secure connection that withstands external pressures. 

Model Emotional Honesty and Resilience 

It is important to communicate openly with your children in age-appropriate ways about your feelings, without burdening them. This models emotional honesty and resilience. You might say something like, ‘Sometimes I feel tired or worried, but I love you very much and want to be here for you.’ This reassures children that your love is constant, even when you are struggling. 

Seek Support to Nourish Your Own Abilities 

Finally, seek support where possible, whether from trusted family members, friends, or community resources. Feeling supported nourishes your ability to support your children and strengthens the emotional foundation of your family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Your Sincere Effort Is Seen and Valued by Allah 

The noble Quran provides reassurance about the intrinsic worth bestowed by Allah Almighty on every parent’s effort, even when those efforts feel unrecognised by others. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’  

This verse reminds you that sincere effort in nurturing your family is seen and valued by Allah, regardless of external circumstances. Your striving is never wasted in His sight. 

Your Role as a Mother Is a Sacred Responsibility 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi, Book 49, Hadith 216, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to Allah is the one who brings most benefit to people.’  

By fulfilling your role as a mother with care, you bring benefit not only to your children but to the wider community through their growth. This sacred responsibility honours you and elevates your status, even when you feel unseen. 

By anchoring your self-worth in this divine recognition and continuing to nurture your children through presence, patience, and honesty, you safeguard your bond and move forward with renewed strength. Your role as a mother remains invaluable, even amid difficulty, and this awareness can gently dissolve the harmful doubts about your worth.