What is the healthiest way to rebuild a child’s confidence if they regret joining a harmful or embarrassing trend? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child participates in a harmful or embarrassing online trend, the aftermath can be filled with feelings of shame, anxiety, and a fear of being judged by their parents. If this regret is not handled with gentleness, it can significantly damage their confidence and push them towards secrecy in the future. Parents should therefore view the mistake not as a failure, but as a crucial learning opportunity to help their child rebuild their dignity and resilience. 

Respond With Compassion, Not Humiliation 

If your child comes to you admitting their regret, it is vital to avoid scolding or mocking them. Your first response should be one of compassion: ‘I can see that you are upset about what happened. Please know that everyone makes mistakes; the most important thing is that we learn from them.’ This compassionate approach makes them feel safe to be honest. 

Focus on Lessons, Not Failure 

Gently guide your child to reflect on the experience. You could ask: ‘What was it that made you want to join that trend in the first place?’ and ‘What do you think you could do differently next time you feel that pressure?’ This shifts the focus from shame to growth, teaching them valuable critical thinking skills for their future choices. 

Reinforce Their Inner Strength 

Remind your child that the ability to recognise a mistake and feel regret is a sign of maturity, not weakness. You should praise their courage for being honest about their feelings, which will help to restore their sense of self-worth and show them that their character is defined by how they recover from mistakes, not by the mistakes themselves. 

Help Them Reconnect to Their Positive Identity 

Encourage your child to participate in activities that help to rebuild their confidence in a healthy way. This could include creative projects, sports, contributing to family life, or setting new faith-based goals. Replacing feelings of embarrassment with meaningful achievements is a powerful way to strengthen their sense of value and purpose. 

By framing the incident as a stepping stone rather than a permanent stain on their character, parents can help their children to emerge from the experience stronger, wiser, and more thoughtful. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that making mistakes is a natural part of the human condition, but that Allah Almighty, in His infinite mercy, always keeps the door of forgiveness and growth open through repentance (tawbah). What matters most is our ability to turn regret into positive and lasting change. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 53: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘ 

This beautiful verse is a powerful reminder that no mistake is too great to be forgiven. A sincere return to Allah always brings with it His mercy and a chance for renewal. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2499, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All the children of Adam commit sins, and the best of those who commit sins are those who repent.’ 

This teaching reframes the act of making a mistake. It shows that feeling regret and turning back to the right path is not a sign of failure, but can in fact be transformed into an act of virtue. 

By grounding the experience in the principles of mercy and resilience, parents can help their child to see that one poor choice does not define them. This helps them to learn, over time, that true confidence is not about never making mistakes, but about having the strength to rise after them with faith, dignity, and hope in the mercy of Allah.